The World Will Turn
by WaveGoodbye
Summary: Fights, Regrets, and Misunderstandings.
1. And So It Begins

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the words and the occasional OC.**

**AN: To those who have read my work before: this is very different to BoS. Still, I hope you enjoy it all the same. It's going to be nine or ten chapters long (I might break the final one up because it's really big).**

**Enjoy all the same. **

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* * *

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Ashley Davies rolled her head around in an attempt to work out the uncomfortable stiffness in her neck. Arriving early to class had never been forte that she possessed, however, when she awoke early from a dream consisting of rubbing oil on to those hard to reach places of Richard Simmons, she sprung from her bed to have a shower than almost scalded her tanned skin and promptly erased that memory from her fragile little mind.

She tilted her head toward the ceiling, to perhaps count the tiles, when she yawned unexpectedly, sending the peppermint gum she had been chewing for the past five minutes to the back of her throat, effectively choking herself.

Throwing her head forward and coughing up the offending item from her throat, she silently congratulated herself on a job well done. She'd only done that twice this month.

"That's not something you're supposed to deep-throat."

Ashley lifted her head and delivered an impressive eye roll for eight a.m.. "Bite me," she spat out to the girl making her way toward her, rolling the gum back into the wrapper it came in.

Spencer Carlin, second to arrive into the classroom, smiled victoriously and sat down at her small desk situated in front of the brunette's. "Good morning to you, too."

Ashley sighed at her unctuous tone and laid her head down on the desk, praying for sleep to claim her before their teacher arrived or Spencer decided she wanted to open her smart-ass mouth again.

They'd known each other for a year and Spencer had barely uttered a single nice word to her as far as Ashley was concerned.

"Did you finish your assignment?" Ashley heard, somehow louder even though her ear was pressed against her rolled up hoodie on the desk.

She sighed, keeping her eyes closed. "Do you want me to kick your chair for the next hour?"

"I don't know, do you want me to slap you?"

The brunette snorted in amusement and could tell by her voice that the blonde was facing toward the badly-cleaned chalkboard. "Spencer Carlin, hulking out? That'll be the day." She had never heard Spencer curse other than when she called her a bitch, she didn't smoke, she got high from paint fumes, and she was a virgin.

"It'll be the day when you actually talk to someone nicely."

"It's too bad you're not someone."

"It's too bad you're a bitch."

"It's too bad you think your opinion matters to me."

Spencer's retort died on her tongue as their teacher hurried into the room with her thin and clearly dyed black hair in disarray balancing three folders, her bag, and a large cup of coffee. Her glasses were perched at the tip of her nose, perilously close to falling off. Ashley hated that more than anything.

Before long the room was full of students and as soon as Mrs Wright —who was a good few years past retirement age— opened a book and began scrawling her unintelligible script onto the chalkboard. Ashley pushed her ear plugs into her ears and raised the volume on her iPod, drowning out any unwelcome noise.

As soon as she got into the song, her eyes drifted shut and her foot moved on its own accord, accidentally tapping against the legs of Spencer's seat. She smiled when she felt Spencer's eyes burning into her. She imagined—hoped—she was scowling. There was nothing like getting a rise out of Spencer Carlin. Her eyes always flashed and Ashley had never seen a shade of blue like it.

Her smarmy smile was wiped off her face the second Spencer's palm connected with the side of her face.

The brunettes eyes flew open and she pulled the ear plugs from her ears, her face flushing in a mixture of embarrassment and rage. "That was an accident!" she defends her actions indignantly.

The students who gave a damn were sitting there with wide eyes, waiting to see if there was going to be another verbal smack down between Carlin and Davies. They were legendary.

Despite the fact that the blonde was completely harmless didn't deter her from giving as good as she got. And the fact Ashley usually took bait helped immensely.

Not being able to help herself, she smirked at Ashley's slightly pink face. "You kicked my chair; I just assumed you wanted a slap to the face."

"Hey!" Ashley yells to an oblivious Mrs Wright. "Why is your nose still in that book?! I was just assaulted!" As soon as those words left her lips she faced the blonde once more, her eyes blazing. "I'm two seconds away from kicking your ass, Carlin."

"Excuse me, dear?" Mrs Wright finally turns around to ask, looking rather confused.

Spencer exhales slowly and smiles, unaffected by Ashley's threat. "I have two brothers. You can try to kick my ass, but you'll be the one on her back." She leans over the back of her seat some and whispers: "But, I promise I'll be gentle." Her bright blue eyes shine when she sees Ashley's face harden, and she ducks her head when Ashley's hand shoots out in an attempt to connect with her face.

"What on earth?" Mrs Wright's shrill voice pierces right through Ashley, causing her to wince.

"It was self defence!" The brunette justifies her violent outburst.

"I don't condone violence, Miss Davies. You know that."

"You expect me to do nothing when Carlin goes all Catwoman on my face?" she asks incredulously.

In front of her, Spencer laughs briefly and quietly. "I barely touched you. Over dramatic, much?"

That much was true; she had barely made contact. Never one for actual violence, she hadn't wanted to hurt Ashley, she just liked to see how much she could push her. It was amusing.

Having not heard Spencer, Mrs Wright addresses Ashley, "I expect you to act as the mature young woman you are."

"Are you talking about the same Davies I know?" A voice at the back of the class asks, causing a few to snicker.

Ashley turns around in her seat and mocks the monkey laughs she had just heard before turning back around to face Spencer, her eyes cold.

Mrs Wright carries on: "So, I'd like you to gather your things and report to the principal's office immediately."

"I get slapped in the face and _I_ have to see the big guy?" She shakes her head in disbelief, gathering her things, regardless. "Well I guess I can't question your work-ethic after all these years, can I, Wrighty?" she asks sarcastically.

"Don't call me Wrighty, young lady."

"Don't call me young lady, Wrighty."

Ashley didn't hate the woman, but her patience had been well and truly tested and it was barely eight-thirty in the morning. She left the room with no intention of visiting the balding man who ran the school.

On her way to her car, Ashley had an almost overwhelming urge to smoke a cigarette -- something she hadn't done in months. She was never one to get an addiction to anything but there was something about the way the nicotine felt running through her veins that she craved when she was exceptionally irritated, or just plain drunk. Right now she was the former, wishing she was the latter.

Not wanting to see her half-sister around campus or go home to the dragon that was Christine Davies, Ashley drove aimlessly through the city for nearly an hour before she settled on a location.

* * *

Ashley had been at the beach all morning as well as half of the afternoon, and her skin had gone a shade darker as she ignored calls and texts from various acquaintances of hers. After finishing off a cheeseburger half the size of her, she decided to go for a swim; sometimes merely keeping herself above the surface and letting the waves pull and push her wherever they wished.

Now, with her eyes closed and the sounds of rushing water in her ears, Ashley felt free.

Until something collided with her head, forcing it to the side slightly.

She opened her eyes with annoyance and a frown attached to her forehead. Spencer was standing twenty feet away with water up to just below her jean clad knees. She hadn't packed a bathing suit.

Ashley looked around and saw that a football was floating nearby, being carried away from her with the currents of the water. She exhaled a deep breath and swam back to shore, holding herself back from splashing Spencer with water. She wasn't that immature, she told herself.

"What do you want?" she asked indifferently, though she was curious. They didn't talk outside of school. Period. What happened that morning was their usual repartee; nothing more, nothing less.

Spencer watched Ashley emerge from the water and the smirk still attached to her lips from the look on Ashley's face when the football hit her fell off. She'd never seen so much of Ashley's body before and in turn, felt her heart beat that little bit faster. "What?" She shook her head.

Ashley lowered herself down to her large towel and squeezed the excess water from her hair, running her fingers through it afterward, oblivious to the effect she had on Spencer. "You. Here. Talking to me. Why?"

Recovering quickly, Spencer looked down to Ashley. "I saw you eating like, half a cow, and then you went swimming."

Ashley raised her eyebrows and sipped on her now warm water. "So?"

"Well, they say you're not supposed to go swimming on a full stomach, and when I saw you just floating with that weird look on your face, I wondered if you'd had a seizure or if you were having a sh-"

"Bye," Ashley interrupts and then looks up to Spencer, squinting at the harsh light of the sun.

Seeing her discomfort, Spencer moves so that her head is blocking the sun and unknowingly creates an almost ethereal-like glow to herself.

"Why are you even here?" Ashley carries on. "Jesus doesn't hang out with me on Tuesday's."

"I don't appreciate that," the blonde responds gently. Ashley occasionally made some kind of Jesus joke and always laughed her ass off. It irritated Spencer to no end.

"Lighten up, Madonna. I'm Catholic, too."

Spencer raises a dubious eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Since always," Ashley replies unconvincingly.

"I don't believe you."

"Why are you still here?"

"Why are you?" Spencer retorts.

"I'm tanning."

"Trying to fry the two brain cells you have left?"

"Trying to fry my memory of you."

"I'm memorable?" the blonde asks with a small smile.

"Memory, non plural. This morning. When I go to sleep and wake up it's like a clean slate," Ashley moves her hand across the air in front of her face. "No more Spencer."

Spencer side-steps, blinding Ashley with the sun. "Is that why you insist on spraying that lavender spray you know I'm allergic to before class everyday? Because it's such a clean slate?"

Ashley raises her hand, shielding her eyes. Briefly, her perfectly sculpted eyebrows furrow in surprise. "Is it my fault I love lavender and you're allergic to it? No. Is it an added bonus? Absolutely."

Ashley hated lavender.

"Of course it is," Spencer mocked.

"I think Big J is parting water half-a-mile up that way," the brunette points right.

"Moses."

Ashley raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, Mosey on over." She waves a hand to the right once more.

"It wasn't Jesus who parted the red sea, it was Moses. He led the Hebrews to safety."

"Do I look like I give a shit?" Ashley rolled her eyes when she saw Spencer turn and walk away from her. "You forgot your football!" she yells after her, remembering how it was floating in the water.

"Not mine!" Spencer shouts back.

* * *

Spencer sits with her family at their dining room table and laughs at an anecdote Clay is telling animatedly. The food on their table is home-made and they each held hands during their prayer before their meal.

Ashley sits alone at her large dining room table, pushing her micro-waved meal around on her plate, her appetite non-existent. She can hear the obnoxious ticking of the grandfather clock in the foyer.


	2. Cold Shoulder

**devil2010 -** Read and you'll find out :).

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**GetOverIt -** Aw, thanks! (And I know that's not your full username but it won't let me type it for some reason. It shows up as ".xX". It's weird)

**Conscious -** :D Would I _ever _call you lame? I mean, really? That's like saying Santa isn't fat and jolly.

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**DeadWitchReading -** Aw, thanks. But no, it's only the beginning, give it a chance ;). Haha, you're too sweet, really. I really hope posting once a day is enough for you :P.

**eve80 -** Why do I have the sweetest readers? You're all so lovely. Thank you. I've never seen Harry Potter or read the books (I often get gasps of surprise) but I'm glad you're enjoying the tone so far :).

**xxMaNdYxx -** Thanks!

**jazziejazz94 -** Nah, I haven't even got a fic where they're secretly dating. Kind of always wanted to do one, though. Thanks for the review :].

**idrinktogetdrunk -** Oh, for sure. I love when they can both keep up.

**naranga87 -** Aw, thank you very much :D.

**Coachkimm -** Yeah, they're all incredibly different to each other in terms of style and feel. I like to try lots of different styles of writing; they keep me entertained.

* * *

A brunette lay on the hood of her expensive Porsche boxster, resting her head against the windscreen with music blaring in to her ears. She'd had a relatively good morning with no trips to Mr Cargile --the principal-- but in each class she had shared with a certain blonde, she had kept quiet even as Ashley repeatedly kicked the leg of her chair.

Ashley yawned and vowed to herself that she'd be in bed by one a.m. tomorrow morning. All the late nights with her friends had to stop, or at least cut down to four nights per week.

For the past five minutes she had heard someone repeatedly calling her name but hadn't paid much attention, not bothering to open her eyes or lower the volume of her iPod. She knew exactly who it was, and that person had put a dent in her —almost— good mood.

Spencer had been standing beside Ashley, calling her name persistently. She wanted to talk to her. In one last attempt to get her attention, Spencer pulled the earplugs from Ashley's ears.

"Your ignorance is impressive," she tells her, watching Ashley's eyes finally open.

"So is your inability to take a hint."

"You know, I've known you a year and if you want someone gone, you'll tell them. You didn't tell me to leave," the blonde says softly.

"You don't know me," Ashley says firmly, meeting Spencer's eyes.

"What if said I did?"

"You don't."

Letting the subject drop, Spencer reaches into a brown bag and pulls out an apple. "Uh, I just wanted to -" She stops, already feeling like a moron.

Ashley regards her and watches the way she's swallowing nervously and how her cheeks are flushing. "You wanted to what?" she asks indifferently.

"I didn't have any cocaine at home, but I never see you eat lunch anymore, so…." Spencer nearly drops the fruit as she places it onto Ashley's stomach, confident it won't roll off.

The brunette raises an amused brow. "What is that for? And, you saw me eating a burger yesterday."

"For getting you kicked out of class yesterday morning, I felt bad. That burger was the only thing I've seen you eat in weeks besides the gum you're obsessed with. Doesn't your jaw get enough action without that?"

Ashley sits up, puts the sole of one foot against the hood and grabs the apple that's rolling away. "You know what would really work for me?" She raises her hand with the fruit inside. "If you'd just walk around with this permanently shoved inside that smart-ass mouth of yours."

"Can I eat lunch with you?" Spencer asks, ignoring Ashley's comment.

"No, bi-polar, you can't eat lunch with me."

"I apologised to you."

"And then you called me a slut. That kind of erases the lame-ass apology you gave me."

Spencer frowns, shaking her head briefly. "No, I…I didn't. I would never. I just meant that you never shut up."

Ashley remains quiet for a moment and remembers the last time Spencer said that to her. When she snaps herself out of it, Spencer is reaching for her half empty water bottle that is next to her on the car. "What are you doing?"

"I'm thirsty. I don't have any water and you do."

"Polite catholic girls are supposed to ask, not steal."

The blonde puts the bottle back next to Ashley's leg. "May I have some of your water?"

Ashley conceals a smirk. It may be a water bottle but it's definitely not water inside. Her hand waves dismissively. "Knock yourself out, Mary."

Looking mildly surprised that she agreed so quickly, Spencer smiles. "Thank you," she replies graciously, picking up the bottle and unscrewing the cap.

Unfortunately, she didn't take the time for a brief sniff and had a large mouthful of what she would now describe as acid inside her mouth.

Ashley chuckles as she watches Spencer's eyes widen before turning away and spitting out the liquid.

"Ashley!" the blonde screeches, still hunched over, spitting.

Very briefly, Ashley's eyes travel the length of Spencer's legs. "Not the Evian you're used to?" When Spencer turns to face her she notices that her face is still twisted in disgust, smacking her lips together.

Spencer sets her jaw and pours the rest of the alcohol onto the pavement, even going as far as to shake the last drops out before throwing the bottle back to Ashley. "You're such a bitch," she seethes.

"And you're way too easy, Carlin," Ashley replies, still laughing at the blondes expense.

"I told you before, that's one thing I'm not."

"I told you yesterday, 'Sleep equals Spencer, who?'," she answers, remembering clearly and contradicting herself.

"Why is everything always a game with you? It's no wonder nobody ever wants to spend any time with you."

Ashley stares at her with indifference. "Leave."

The spiteful tone she had used echoed in her head and Spencer almost winced. She didn't want to be like this with Ashley. It hadn't always been this way. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

"Spencer, leave. Now."

"You just always have to push it," she explains. "You get under my skin and I just…"

Ashley moves off of her car and stands in front of Spencer. "You seem to think I give a damn about you and any of those screwed up feelings of yours, so let me clear this up for you; I don't. Stop talking to me and just leave. Walk in front of a bus for all I care, but make sure you're wearing your 'Jesus is my homeboy' shirt. You never know, maybe you'll actually score."

"You can make fun of me all you want, but I really am sorry," Spencer replies softly, hurt by Ashley's words but knows she deserves them.

* * *

A week had passed since their interaction in the school parking lot and after a day of silence each had stepped up their game, claiming any opportunity to embarrass, hurt, or piss off the other girl.

Spencer found it difficult not to retaliate when Ashley was particularly cold or mean. Especially when she looked into Ashley's eyes and saw nothing. She hated seeing nothing. That fuelled her anger more than anything.

Ashley strolled into her science class late and sent an annoyed glare in a certain blondes direction, receiving one back. She was sitting at Ashley's desk.

"You're late, Miss Davies." Mr Walker announced unnecessarily in front of the class.

"I was busy."

"She was smoking," Spencer called out, tapping her pencil against the desk. She had only known that because as she made her way past Ashley she flicked some of her ash at her.

"See me after class."

Ashley stopped chewing her gum for a second and stared at Spencer with an indecipherable expression on her face. "Whatever," she replies to Walker.

Making her way toward the back of the class, Ashley purposely hits her bag off of Spencer's head as she climbs onto her stool and misses the glare sent her way.

Spencer was glaring because Ashley had sprayed herself with that horrendous lavender body spray once again. She was covered in it.

"It's hot in here, huh?" Ashley asks, pinching a bunch of material from her shirt, pulling it away from her body and pushing it back, repeating the motion several times and in turn wafting the scent over to Spencer even more while smacking her gum loudly.

Spencer shoots her arm out across the table, sending Ashley's bag half way across the room with the force of it. "Yeah, it is," she replies indifferently.

"Bitch," Ashley mutters as she gets down from the stool to retrieve her bag.

While she wasn't looking, Spencer rubbed at her nose that was burning and blinked back the tears in her eyes. She ducked her head slightly; she could feel a headache coming on. Hey eyes looked up as Ashley approached their shared desk once again, not bothering to actually lift her head. She hoped she looked slightly intimidating.

"Mary have a headache?" Ashley whispers mockingly, settling down on her seat with a smirk as Mr Walker begins the class by turning off the lights and drawing the shades. He wasn't a pervert, he was about to play a decade old video tape on Nuclear Reactions and Radioactivity.

"Ashley have an STD?"

Ashley's face hardens. "Bite me, Spencer," she replies loudly.

"Who is talking back there?" Walker demands with his hands resting on his love handles.

"Ashley Davies," Spencer supplies.

His chubby face looks positively disappointed. He snaps his fingers and points to an empty seat right at the front. "Sit."

"What am I? A dog?" The brunette frowns.

To the right of her, Spencer lays her head against her forearm resting on the desk and smiles up at Ashley—truly pissing her off. "Should I answer that? Or would you prefer -"

"Kiss my ass," Ashley spits out, grabbing her bag off the table and taking another swing at Spencer's head on her way up, missing entirely.

As soon as she sat down at the empty desk up front Ashley rested her forehead against the desk with her elbows next to her head and her arms pressed against her ears, trying to block everything out. With her face covered she didn't actually see who threw the first ball of paper at her head but by the third she had an inkling of the culprit's identity.

_  
Ashley's feet sink and slide back on the sand with each step closer she gets to her friend and the icy breeze causes her to zip up her jacket that little big higher._

She'd been watching a movie at home when she'd received a text from Spencer asking her to meet her at the beach in thirty minutes. The fact it was almost eleven p.m. was irrelevant to Ashley.

Sensing somebody approaching, Spencer turns her head and the brunette catches a glimpse of the tears marring—in her opinion—Spencer's perfect skin.

"Who hurt you?" she demands softly as soon as she's kneeling next to the blonde.

Spencer closes her eyes, not wanting to see the concerned look in Ashley's eyes; it was too much for her right now. "No-one," she says quietly, her voice a little hoarse from how much yelling she'd done a little less than an hour ago. In her haste to leave her house, Spencer had forgotten a jacket and was now shivering.

In the three months they'd known each other Spencer's mother had learned --by her observations-- that Ashley was barely attending school, she owned a car no sixteen-year-old should own, she had no respect for her elders, and she was a lesbian. She had eavesdropped into one of their conversations and had clearly heard Ashley say that Jessica Biel was at the top of her 'To-do' list, if Spencer knew what she meant.

What scared her the most was the sound of Spencer's carefree laughter, as if she wasn't immediately disgusted with the mere thought of it.

Ashley reached forward to Spencer's face and brushed a tear away with her thumb. "Drop a name, Spence. That's all it'll take."

Despite the pressure in her chest threatening to choke her, Spencer opened her eyes and laughed. "You're not killing anyone, Ash."

The brunette instantly mirrored it. "You always spoil my fun."

"Sorry," Spencer breathed out, not really meaning it.

"Tell me who hurt you," Ashley persisted.

"I just had a fight with my mom. I over reacted, I'm sorry," Spencer bended the truth somewhat, her teeth close to chattering.

"Are you cold?" Ashley asks, already unzipping her jacket.

Before Spencer can protest, Ashley leans forward and carefully drapes it over her shoulders and pulls it tighter around her. Spencer can already smell the scent that is purely Ashley and the comforting nature of it produces more tears. The thought of not being able to see her anymore causes Spencer to literally shudder.

"You're still cold?" Ashley asks with a raised eyebrow and short laugh. "You were born and raised in Antarctica. If anyone should be cold right now, it's me."

Spencer laughs the kind of laugh that is mostly in her stomach and draws in a deep, shuddering breath, hearing the waves crashing around them. "Do you want it back?" she gestures to the jacket delicately wrapped around her shoulders, her teeth actually chattering this time.

Dismissing that question the second it left Spencer's lips, Ashley crawls around to the back of her and settles down with her legs either side of the blonde. She doesn't complain when almost instantly she feels cold hands reaching for her own, bringing them around to a taut abdomen. Her body easily moulding itself against Spencer's.

"Does your head hurt?" Ashley asks Spencer, knowing that more often than not after she's been crying she gets an incessant throbbing in her head. As soon as she feels Spencer nod, she brings up her fingers to each of the blondes temples, lightly massaging.

"I'm still waiting for you to tell me who's ass I need to kick," she says gently after a minute, mindful of Spencer's head but not believing it was her mother.

"You never shut up, do you?" Spencer asks with a faint smile, trying to lighten her own dark mood. It's a futile attempt.

Ashley moves her head, resting it next to the blondes ear. "Spence…."

Spencer presses her teeth together, trying to ignore the protective tone to her friend's voice.

"Don't cry anymore," Ashley whispers into her ear after hearing the sound of her breathing change and boldly kisses the top of golden tresses. She's taken aback when she feels—as much as hears—Spencer begin to cry again. "Give me a name, Spencer," she repeats, this time not joking.

Spencer moves both of her hands that were resting on Ashley's forearms, to her hands. "Just…" she attempts to say strongly; her voice already failing.

"Just, what?" the brunette whispers, lifting a thumb to rub against Spencer's hand.

"Just…remember that having your arms around me doesn't disgust me," she whispers, leaning back against the warm body behind her.

* * *

Despite being around half of the entire student body Ashley notices Spencer walking not far from her. She isn't wearing a smile. Pushing her way through a crowd of people, Ashley walks next to her. "Your big ass seriously fit through the door?" she asks her suddenly.

The corners of Spencer's mouth twitch upward and she stops walking. "Well, yours did."

With her mission complete, Ashley stares her down until the blonde swallows nervously.

"Aren't you going to be late for Jeeb worshipping?"

Spencer leaves without a word.


	3. Events Leading Up To

**AN:** - **I just want to make you all aware that the flashbacks are in italics. A few wasn't sure for the previous chapter and seeing as how this chapter is basically one big flashback, I thought I'd spell it out :). Enjoy all the same. **

**Conscious - **Lol Aww! I actually haven't had the urge to juggle ornaments. Especially Christmas ornaments. I do remember --when my parents weren't in the room-- that I liked to hold anything expensive in the cabinet we had in the corner of the living room. My parents were out visiting friend's once and my older brother was looking after me and my sister, so he was upstairs on his sega (clearly taking his job of protector seriously) and I pulled out this cute little china plate to look at. Yeah...it broke. I remember flipping it over to read the stamp underneath and I dunno...I guess I threw it lol. It ended up in, like, six pieces and I glued it back together (with a missing corner because I couldn't find it) and put it back, hoping they wouldn't notice.

Let's just say they did.

Santa is the creepiest little bitch (a fat, jolly, creepy little bitch). Seriously, next month at the shopping centre is going to be hell. All those guys dressed up as the guy. I dunno...they just really, really freak me out. And feel free to laugh, most people do. But seriously...guh.

**ashnspence4eva -** Claim her!

**xXStOPthEDramAXx -** Aw, thanks. I actually love Paula so it was difficult writing her to be such a bitch. Hope you figure it out soon :P.

**Coachkimm -** Yeah, it was a flashback. If you read carefully, there's a part in it which is mentioned at the beginning of the chapter. I just slipped it in. :)

**RUlov3r -** :D Glad you think so.

**eve80 -** It was a flashback. I'm sorry it wasn't clearer for you. More insight is in this chapter :).

**xxMaNdYxx -** Thanks!

**radmadmoo -** It is indeed :P. And thank you very much.

**idrinktogetdrunk -** You reminded me of Janis Ian. "Those bitches." I flove her. Anyway, sorry, thank you :D.

**DeadWitchReading -** It's all clear by the end of this chapter, I promise. Haha aww, I'm sorry! I think this one is a tiny bit longer than the previous. You're far too sweet. Really.

**South Fan -** Aw, thank you. Hope you continue to enjoy :).

* * *

_"I won't have her around you or in this house, Spencer. I won't."_

_"She's my best friend, Mom, and I'm old enough to decide who I want in my life."_

_"She's filth! And when she dies she's going to be judged."_

_Spencer feels her face flush hot. "Don't say that," she growls out. _

_"Why not? It's the truth."_

_Clenching her teeth together through anger and betrayal, the blonde takes a deep breath through her nostrils and feels her heart beating faster. It hurt hearing her mother say that about Ashley. She didn't even know her. "You don't even know her!" she explodes, sick of the argument they'd been in for the past hour._

_"I know enough!"_

_"No! She's… she's -" Spencer stops, not wanting her mother to see her full eyes. _

_"She's nothing, that's what I know," Paula responds coldly. "And you're not seeing her anymore, that's final."_

_Tears spill out over the blonde's skin and she bites her annoying trembling bottom lip. "But she takes care of me," she whispers out. _

_"Find another friend to take care of you. One that doesn't want to rape you."_

_A deep pang shoots through her chest and her eyes widen in shock. "Shut your mouth!" she yells. "Don't fucking say that! She would never!" _

_A satisfied smile briefly passes over the older Carlin's face. "That's what I mean, Spencer. You never used to speak to me like this before that girl and I won't have her turning you into something you're not."_

_"Something I'm not?" her voice trembles with the amount of adrenalin running through her veins and she feels her insides begin to shake. "You can't catch it!"_

_"I'm sorry," Paula begins._

_"No you're not," Spencer interrupts, looking at her mother with disgust etched on her face. "You've been dying to say this, and you know what? No. I'm not going to stop talking to her or drop her like she's nothing. She's my best friend, and you? You can get used to hearing that because it's never going to change."_

_"You'll listen to me," her mother starts. "Unless you can find somewhere else to live within the next twenty-four hours and never speak to me again."_

_"What?" Spencer frowns deeply. _

_"I didn't want it to come to this, Spencer. But I will not have that girl around you and that's final. End of discussion." The woman side-steps her daughter and gets almost three steps away when a hand roughly seizes her arm and pulls her back. _

_"This conversation is over when I say it's over," the youngest Carlin says strongly. "You can't do this," she disagrees. _

_"You're sixteen, sweetheart. When it comes to what's best for you: I can do whatever I want."_

_"What's best for me is staying with Ashley! How many times do I have to say that?!" she explodes suddenly. _

_"Why do you keep saying 'staying'?"_

_"What?" she raises her voice, frustrated and confused. _

_"Did she… " Paula stops. "She did, didn't she? She tried to force herself on you."_

_"No!" she replies hotly. "A thousand times: no." She clenches her fists. "God! How could you say that when you know I… I -"_

_"You what?" Her mother demands. _

_Her eyes close and her heart is in her throat as every nerve in her body begins to tremble. Spencer sees Ashley looking bored in class, she sees her devouring half of her lunch after always forgetting her own and not daring to eat the toxic waste in the cafeteria. She sees her batting in softball and hurling the ball right at the player who yelled 'foul' at her. She sees her smiling at her with a look in her eyes that brings goosebumps to her arms. "I love her."_

_The hard slap she receives to her face causes more tears to spring to her ocean eyes._

_Instead of screaming obscene words that Spencer knows her mother deserves, she stares at her with blazing eyes and a red mark rapidly appearing across the left side of her face. Her breath coming in long, slow and deep before turning her back on her mother, slamming the door on the way out of the house._

* * *

Laying awake in her bed, Spencer sighs. The memory of where everything went wrong with her and Ashley plays out clearly in her mind and the same ache she felt that night on the beach with the brunette settles deep in her chest. She misses her. She had missed her ever since she uttered those terrible words to her and saw the hurt look in those expressive brown eyes and knew instantly that she had made a terrible mistake.

* * *

_"God, will this day ever end?" Ashley mumbles with her head against the Science desk she shared with Spencer._

_Spencer linked her arm through the brunettes and moved over, resting her head against her arm. "I hope not."_

_"You're so weird, Spencer."_

_She couldn't even force a smile. Closing her eyes, she released a small breath, the lump in her throat almost choking her._

_"You smell nice," Spencer says quietly after a minute of silence._

_Ashley switches positions so that she's now the one with her arm linked through Spencer's, her head resting on her arm. She presses her face against the material covering the blonde's arm and breathes in, not caring of the potential audience they may have. "You smell like Spencer."_

_"Is that a good thing?"_

_"That's a very good thing."_

_The faint smile tugging at Spencer's lips falls off and she clenches her jaw, willing herself not to cry. Again. "Ash?" she whispers, very quietly._

_"What?"_

_"I…."_

_Ashley pulls the girl closer when her voice dies down and keeps hers low, for Spencer's ears only. "I love you, too."_

* * *

Spencer brushes her fingers across the skin just below her temples, the drying tears annoying her more than one thought possible. Sick of crying over a situation that she's too much of a coward to fix. She had tried once. The day after she had called the brunette so much that it was bordering stalker level, she'd gone to her house, and she'd tried to talk to her alone at school but Ashley didn't attend.

She leans over to pick up her cell phone off her bedside table and scrolls to 'Dave', hiding Ashley's number under a variation of her last name in case her mother felt like snooping through her phone and deleting it again.

* * *

__

Ashley flops down to her bed and closes her eyes before lazily stretching her arms high above her head, causing her already short top to climb up higher and Spencer, who was standing nervously at the doorway, averts her eyes. The brunette was never one for covering every inch of skin from her neck downward but lately it had been especially hard for Spencer to see; especially now when her heart was threatening to burst through her chest.

"I'm so fucked," Ashley mumbles out with her eyes closed. "As lame as this sounds, I'm going to be in bed at ten tonight."

Spencer always goes to bed at ten p.m.

"Are you staying here again tonight, Spence?" Ashley carries on, oblivious to the inner monologue going on inside the blonde's head. "I promise to keep my hands to myself when we inevitably snuggle."

She had stayed over at Ashley's last night and with it being one a.m. after the day she'd had plus the day she knew she was going to have, she wanted nothing more than to get into bed with Ashley and let her hold her, knowing she'd fall asleep as soon as Ashley would kiss her shoulder and whisper goodnight.

Yawning, Ashley moves her arms back, resting one across her stomach, the other on the mattress next to her. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Sorry," Spencer manages to squeak out.

"I didn't know you were so rude."

Looking down, blonde hair hides her face and she squeezes her eyes shut, knowing it's doubtful Ashley will ever talk to her like this again.

"I mean, you're not even laying on here with me keeping me warm in this ninety degree weather," the brunette teases.

Ashley waits patiently for some kind of response until she gets bored. Leaning up on her elbows she regards Spencer with a slight furrow of her eyebrows. "And I'm guessing you have something incredibly fascinating stuck to your shoe. Step on another snail?"

Spencer hadn't stepped on a snail since she was twelve.

There's an uncomfortable pressure in the blondes throat and she clears her throat lightly in an attempt to budge it. "No snail," she replies, finally looking up.

"Shit?" Ashley asks with a teasing glint in her eyes. "I don't smell anything…."

Spencer almost smiles.

Something she can see in her eyes makes Ashley frown. "Spencer, is everything okay?" she enquires softly. "You've been really quiet."

Not trusting her voice, Spencer nods before walking over to the bed and laying down next to Ashley, putting her head on her shoulder and snaking one arm around her body. She knew it was selfish of her but she wanted to be in Ashley's arms one last time.

When she hears Ashley's heart beating faster she fights to keep her hot tears at bay and tries to control her breathing that she knows has picked up.

"You're shaking," the brunette whispers, wrapping her arms tighter around Spencer.

"I know."

"What's going on, Spence?"

"Nothin'" she breathes out, willing Ashley not to talk. Not yet. She isn't ready.

"Spencer."

She flexes her fingers against Ashley's side, trying to pull her closer. "Be quiet, Ash."

Ashley doesn't stop herself from sighing in concern. "I'm worried about you, just tell me what's going on."

"Stop it."

She can feel Spencer's heart rate increasing almost dangerously high and deliberates over her next sentence for merely a second until it just feels right. "Baby, tell me what's wrong. Please."

Spencer's chest is tight and she can barely stop herself from crying. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

She swallows in another attempt to alleviate the painful pressure in her throat and closes her eyes so tight she can see different colours.

"Don't what, Spencer?" Ashley repeats gently.

A small sound escapes from her throat before she can stop it. "Don't call me that."

"Sorry."

Spencer didn't want Ashley to be sorry. She wanted her to call her that word again. The word she'd had to bite her tongue not to call Ashley when she roused her from her sleep just that morning.

Before she can protest, Ashley removes her arms away from Spencer and she feels cold instantly. She didn't want her to let go yet.

Feeling somewhat confused and more than a little hurt, Ashley runs a hand through her hair, not really knowing what to say. She felt stupid. "Did I do something wrong? Is that why you're being so… off and won't tell me what's wrong?" she asks quietly, looking at the girl now sitting three feet away from her.

At this moment, Spencer hated her mother.

But she hated herself more.

"I'm just…."

"Just, what?"

"I'm not like you, Ashley," she forces herself to say, nearly choking on her words.

"What, a Libra?" Ashley asks sarcastically, knowing exactly what Spencer meant when she said that.

Biting her lip, Spencer shakes her head negatively.

"The word you're looking for is "lesbian". Why are you acting like you didn't know that the first day we met?"

She ignores the question thrown her way. "And I don't want you to touch me anymore."

Spencer made the mistake of looking up and meeting Ashley's eyes and she was certain her heart had stopped beating. It took everything she had not to apologise profusely and tell her she loved her.

"What?" Ashley asks firmly, wanting to know why Spencer was saying all of these things.

With her heart throbbing, Spencer moves off of the bed and away from Ashley. "You make me uncomfortable," she says with her back to her.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"It's not." Her voice is a whisper.

"It is." Standing up, the brunette walks over to Spencer and places a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Spencer…."

She shrugs Ashley's hand off her and she makes sure her voice is strong. She doesn't want to screw up and have to do it again; it would kill her. "I told you not to touch me."

"Is this about last night?" she asks with genuine bewilderment. "You've been different since I saw you at the beach."

"I just don't feel comfortable with -"

"With what?" Ashley interrupts. "All the touches *you* keep initiating? All the long hugs? How I'm the first person you call when you're sad? How you just came and lay with me?"

Knowing she's about to cry, Spencer takes a deep breath and pushes everything back, deep down inside of her. "You're twisting things."

Ashley laughs briefly, sardonically. "Of course I am," she replies sarcastically.

"You are. I didn't want any of that."

"I see how you look at me, you know," Ashley says softly despite the fact she could slap herself for beginning to cry. "I'm not blind."

"I don't look at you like anything," Spencer insists, wondering if Ashley can hear her heartbeat

"You look at me like you're in love with me."

A ten-word statement stumps the blonde for a long moment. She didn't know Ashley had noticed.

"And I know you're scared and confused but I promise it's going to be okay. I can be here for you, okay? I will be, I swear. Everyday."

"No. You can't just…."

Ashley steps forward, effectively shutting her up with a single action and wants nothing more than to brush back the tears that are falling from Spencer's eyes at an alarming rate. "Yes. I swear, Spencer. I swear I'll take care of you."

"Stop it."

"Is it your mom? Are you worried about how she'll take it?"

"My mom…," Spencer trails off, not actually wanting to say it.

"What?"

"She doesn't… really like you," the blonde admits reluctantly.

"And trust me, no disrespect intended, but the only redeeming quality she possesses is the fact she gave birth to you." Ashley could go on for hours listing each reason she disliked Spencer's mother but she was certain Spencer didn't want to hear that.

"I can't do this, Ash."

Looking at Spencer's remorseful face and the tone that caused her insides to clench, Ashley saw her opening. "It's her, isn't it?" she asks softly. "Everything you just said, they were her words."

Seeing the situation falling from her grasp, the blonde shakes her head. She won't be able to do this again. "It's me," she lies.

"No, it's not."

"It is," she breathes out, swallowing her saliva and feeling herself shake.

Ashley scratches her face, clearing her face of the tear that was making her almost itch. "The fact I know you're lying is really pissing me off, Spencer. Just stop it. Stop hiding behind your mother and talk to me."

Her chest heaves with her heavy breaths and her head shakes. "It's easy for you. Your family, they're not religious. Mine are. You don't know what would happen if I said… anything. And as much as I know you won't understand, I can't lose them over…."

"Over me?" Ashley asks incredulously; hurt.

Spencer's eyes close and she remains silent, not wanting to confirm that out loud. Being sixteen and falling in love for the first time was scary enough, never mind adding another girl to the mix, and a bible worshipping mother. She couldn't exactly move in with Ashley as soon as they'd declared their love for each other, dismissing the stereotype.

"Then leave," the brunette says strongly.

"What?"

"If we can't even stay like this— how we've been today and every day since we met— then leave. If you can't even be my friend, then go. I don't want you here."

Spencer wanted to ask her why she was so willing to cut her out of her life; and then she realised she'd done a lot worse a lot faster. Ashley hadn't said anything that was untrue and yet, hearing her words made Spencer's blood run cold. She didn't want to imagine how Ashley had felt.

"Spencer, leave. Now."

She bit her lip so hard she could taste blood and looked into Ashley's eyes for any sign of what she had seen last night. She saw nothing. Ashley was looking at her like she was a stranger.

Spencer left without a word.

* * *

The blonde lay with her phone pressed against her ear and closed her eyes listening to it ring. Despite the fact she'd blocked her number, her heart was still beating in anticipation of whether or not her call would be answered at almost four a.m.

"Hello?"

With one word, Spencer's respiration increases.

Miles away, Ashley's eyes open slowly, instantly recognising the sound of Spencer just breathing; and for the first time in months, allows herself to be comforted by it. She receives calls like this twice a week at around midnight and she usually hangs up when she didn't get a response to her greeting.

Ten minutes later when she's sure Spencer is asleep, Ashley disconnects the call.


	4. Heart Fight

**AN: Just a quick note to say that if any of the experiments in class are different to how they would happen in your grade/school, that's just because it's how it worked in England and well, that's the only experience I have to write about. **

**DeadWitchReading -** Your reviews are always ego-inflating (and hilarious), you realise this, yes? All the same, thank you very much :D. I haven't watched South in forever either, but yes, it's basically a "what if" story. I've never been offered anyone's virgin blood before, but(!), I'm going to have to tell you to keep your blood and just keep leaving your lovely reviews instead. That works for you too, right?

**Conscious -** You couldn't possibly need help in getting the ladies. Really, I don't believe that for a second. Yeah, I've always had an eye for the finer things in life. Even now, I manage to drop the most expensive wine glasses. Really, it isn't my fault! What could you possible have to "get away with"? You seem like such an angel *coughs*. Yes, we should! I'll leave the scheming up to you because you seem like you'd be better at it than me :P.

**xxMaNdYxx -** Thank you :).

**Coachkimm -** You'll find out as the story progresses, promise.

**RUlov3r -** Yeah, this version of Paula isn't the nicest I've written. *feeds your addiction with the next update*

**idrinktogetdrunk -** Who doesn't? Lol, you think so? We shoulda taken bets!

**ashnspence4eva -** That's what I said, "Claim her". You claim her! You won't want to murder Spencer by the end of this fic, I can promise you that. :]

**snowdrop1026 -** It's on the Spashley forum, yeah.

**EveryVilliansLemons44 -** Thank you muchly =D.

**kaila5705 -** She was threatening to kick her out of the house and cut her out of her life. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

**lulubirdy -** And one of my favourite reviewers is back! It's better for me than it is for you, trust. Your ramblings are like, 90% of the fun when I'm reading your reviews, so take back that slap request. Well see, you've figured it all out. There's no need for me to post the remaining chapters now. Thank you muchly for the review :D.

**eve80 -** Nah, just the regular kind of flashback's for me. I don't really do prophetic...well, anything. Lol! well, no, I promise this one wasn't at all creepy. Exactly. I think it's more accepting than ever, but there's still a way to go. A long, long way. Ha, no, I don't think they'll be reading this either. Such a shame though, there are some really good writers for this fandom. Really, I think I get spoiled with them because when I even attempt to read for another fandom, I feel like such a snob because I think most of it is just...well, not my kind of thing. Thank you for reading :D.

**xxNotxxWhatxxItxxSeems -** *covers eyes* Take that back! I can't be responsible for a student's poor grades! On a more serious note: It's lovely to see you 'round these parts again :). Glad you're enjoying this so far.

**KITTYKAT -** Aw, thank you very much :).

**angelperry7 -** You're too kind. Thanks a lot :D.

**jazziejazz94 -** God, I _love _Paula. It was so difficult writing her like this. Still, I'm glad it's somewhat believable :P. Being English, I don't celebrate lol, but Happy Turkey Day to you, too!

* * *

"Do you think Mr Moore is hot?"

"No."

"Mr Henderson?"

"No."

"Mr Tompkins?"

"No."

"Mrs Allen?"

Ashley smirks. "Totally."

"You're such a lesbian, Ashley. It's sickening," Lyssa replies jokingly, pushing her thumb nail into the skin of an orange she'd swiped from someone's tray on her way through the cafeteria.

She smiles, delivering a rough shoulder check to the girl she'd known a month and would almost call a friend, but not quite. "And your obsession with fat balding men isn't?"

"I like a bit of meat, so what?"

Ashley chuckles. "You're disgusting."

"So is the way that blonde girl is looking at me."

Ashley pauses for a second before swallowing a mouthful of actual water from her bottle of Evian. "What blonde girl?" She knew where Spencer was. She had felt her staring for the past fifteen minutes and had to fight with herself not to look in her direction.

"The one sitting with the rest of those bible worshipping losers and who's been throwing me the mother of all glares ever since I sat down next to you," she replies, not having a clue who Spencer really is. She put her half peeled orange on the table.

Ashley didn't talk about Spencer to anybody.

"She's not a loser," she says quietly.

"Let me try something," Lyssa replies, having not heard Ashley's response and slides closer to her, putting her arm around Ashley's neck.

Across the quad Spencer is sitting with people she'd rather not sit with and watching—in her opinion—some bimbo fling herself at Ashley. And despite her best efforts, her eyes narrowed.

Lyssa chuckles and nuzzles her face into the brunettes neck, purely for show. "You see her face just then?"

"No," she replies indifferently. She hadn't been looking and was pre-occupied with the strong scent of the orange coming from the other girl's hand.

"I think virgin Mary has a little crush on you."

Ashley turns her head down toward Lyssa in case a certain someone has perfected the art of lip reading like she had done. "Don't."

"Whatever," Lyssa responds, smiling at the way she had seen the blonde's jaw clench when Ashley leaned her head down. "Look for yourself," she whispers, beginning to kiss Ashley's neck.

Instinctively, Ashley's hand found her way into Lyssa's hair, originally intending to gently push her away until her curiosity got the better of her and she turned her head until she was looking directly at Spencer. Their eyes locked.

It had been two weeks since Spencer had been lulled to sleep with the sound of Ashley's steady breaths across the phone and they'd barely spoken in class, each just tired. Ashley answered each call from Spencer and each time neither of them dared to speak. Each time Ashley heard the other girl's breath hitch across the line as though she was going to say something, she stopped breathing.

The mindless chatter of people Spencer would never call friends is drowned out by the sound of her thunderous heartbeat.

As Lyssa is trailing kisses across her jaw line, Ashley searches Spencer's eyes and her stomach lurches when she sees the indifference in them.

She quickly turns her head in the direction of the girl who's mouth is currently attached to her face and the action causes their connection to break. "Stop," she says firmly, her head lowered for the same reason as before.

Just because she was bored and she hadn't pissed anyone off all day, Lyssa reached both hands up to Ashley's face and quickly sealed her lips over the brunettes, instantly closing her eyes in case she saw Spencer's reaction and laughed.

It takes a second for Ashley's brain to register what's happening and her lips part slightly in shock.

Lyssa's tongue flicks over her bottom lip before taking it inside her mouth.

Her hand shot out to firmly push Lyssa away and her head turns so fast in Spencer's direction she was lucky her neck hadn't broke. Spencer was walking off in the opposite direction with an impressive speed.

The sound of laughter causes Ashley to re-face the girl she was sitting next to. "Shit. You see that? I wonder if she was crying."

Ashley casually wipes her mouth. "Yeah, whatever," she murmurs quietly. The thought of Spencer crying troubling her.

"Okay whatever, lesbo. I'm horny. I'm gonna find me some man candy," Lyssa announces, standing from the table she shared with the brunette.

"You mean the man _with_ the candy?" Ashley asks, pre-occupied.

She smirked. "That's exactly what I mean."

* * *

Ashley stumbles through the door of her biology class with a hard shove from Lyssa who was at the peak of her sugar high and was laughing hysterically.

Clearing her throat, Ashley looks toward Mrs Allen— a thirty two year old hottie in Ashley's humble opinion—and then turned back to face Lyssa who was opening one of the three lollipops her older boyfriend had given to her over a brief lunch.

"Alyssa, out of my class," Allen points a slender finger to the door the girl was standing next to.

She held a hand to her chest. "Ouch."

"You didn't sign up for biology this year, Alyssa," Mrs Allen replies patiently.

"But I'm blood-thirsty this afternoon. Can't I sit at the back with Ashley? We'll be quiet."

They were about to dissect sheep hearts in that particular class.

Not born yesterday, the teacher shook her head gently. "Sorry, no. I don't want you to be causing trouble."

Lyssa frowns in disappointment. "Whatever." She sighs and looks around, spotting Spencer staring at her. With a slight smirk, she turns back to Ashley. "Call me later, babe."

Ashley had to fight not to roll her eyes.

With a parting smack to the brunette's ass, Lyssa left the room.

"Okay," Mrs Allen breathes out. "Honey," she addresses Ashley, "you have a different partner today, Robert is sick."

"Great," she mumbles, hoping she didn't have to sit next to the girl who smelled like bad cheese. She looked around, spotting only one space available.

"Miss Carlin's partner Marcus is also sick. Food poisoning, I believe."

"Of course he is," she sighs out. Spencer wouldn't look at her.

Ashley slowly makes her way to the desk she had to share with the girl who smelled like heaven and took her messenger bag off her shoulder before she sits down, not wanting to hit it off Spencer's head again. She had a hard folder in there, unlike the soft hoodie last time.

Ashley looks at the contents of the table with disgust. A heart sat inside a metal tray between her and the blonde. Not wanting to smell the unpleasant scent of blood, Ashley began breathing through her mouth.

"It's not red," Spencer says suddenly and a little harshly.

Ashley turns her head and frowns, confused.

"The heart. It's like, almost grey. The only thing you'll smell is the preservative that they've put over it," Spencer carries on.

"Oh…."

The class begins and Mrs Allen passes around a diagram of the procedure each student had to carry out. "Read the diagram properly, guys. We only have one spare heart. You have questions? Ask me."

"Yeah," the blonde answers. "It's dead."

"Good," Ashley answers a little nervously. "Great. I…I love dead sheep hearts."

Clenching her teeth together through anger, Spencer picks up the scissors next to the tray and stabs them deep inside the dead muscle. The strange squelch makes Ashley's stomach turn.

"A stab to the heart and it makes that tiny noise. You'd think it'd be a lot louder."

With a quick glance to Spencer's hand that was white knuckling the scissors, Ashley swallowed thickly and nodded slowly, knowing what Spencer was talking about. She didn't reply, her own heart beating steadily.

* * *

"You're not doing it properly," Ashley says quietly. Spencer had returned to their desk with a new heart and wasn't even looking at the diagram.

She sighs loudly, dropping the scissors onto the table and turning to glare at Ashley.

"Well, then." She slammed a white gloved hand to the table. "Master of cutting hearts, why don't you take over?"

Ashley frowns and presses her teeth together momentarily. "Me?" She nearly laughs. "Right."

"What was that?"

"I said move your big ass out of the way," the brunette replies harshly, not liking Spencer's accusation one bit.

They both reluctantly switched places and Ashley made sure the sleeves of her lab coat was well past her wrists. She didn't want anything nasty potentially touching her skin. Looking carefully at the diagram and using the instruments laid out in front of her, Ashley —after some serious elbow grease—successfully cut the heart in half.

Spencer had watched her intently, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the task the other girl was carrying out. She liked watching the disgusted look on her face as she cut deeper and actually hand to put her hand on the cold muscle through a particularly tough part she couldn't cut through.

"That was a trip," Ashley said sarcastically, throwing the scalpel back into the metal tray and wondering why they'd even been given them. Her nails were sharper.

"Yeah…." Spencer replies.

They both went silent, no need to talk to each other anymore.

* * *

_"Fuck me, I'm gonna hurl," Ashley chokes out, sitting next to Spencer dissecting an owl pellet._

_The blonde laughs loudly. "You're green."_

_"I love how you're sitting there doing nothing."_

_"I love how you're sitting there doing everything."_

_Ashley gives Spencer a look through the corner of her eye, smiling despite herself. "You're fucking lazy, get over here and help me with this shit. Literally."_

_"Oh, no. I think you have it covered."_

_"I'll cover you with it if you don't do something," Ashley replies with a small laugh._

_"I'm *concluding*, god."_

_She purses her lips together from Spencer's teasing tone. "Oh, yeah? And what's the conclusion, pretty girl?" Ashley asks softly, meeting Spencer's eyes._

_"Uh…." Spencer shakes her head, feeling her face burn and takes a second to recover. "That you're going to be dissecting the heart next year."_

_"And who said I'm going to actually *take* bio next year? I could drop it."_

_"Because I'm taking it and you'd follow me to Accounting if I asked you to."_

_"That's very presumptuous of you, Miss Carlin," Ashley replies, knowing she would indeed take any class with Spencer in it. She made all her classes suck less._

_"I don't think so," the blonde replies self-assuredly._

_They both have private smiles on their faces and Ashley is the first one to break eye-contact. "Come on, you have a bone to pick with me."_

_Spencer leans closer, her elbows resting on the table while she casually toys with one of the unused dissection probes. "I have a very big bone to pick with you," she replies, spying the various bones in the pellet._

_They both peered intently at the lump of owl shit on the table._

_Ashley was the first to crack. "This is fucking gross," she laughs out.

* * *

_

Ashley removes her white latex gloves and throws them into the tray holding the heart before drumming her fingers onto the desk, knowing it annoys Spencer. "Got a conclusion this time, Spencer?" Ashley asks sarcastically, looking in the opposite direction.

"Shut up, Ashley," she spat out, also facing the other way.

"You're not a good partner, you know. You just fucking sit there."

Her jaw clenches. "At least I'm loyal. I don't go around looking for other peoples pellets or hearts when things get rough."

Ashley finally turns to face her and stares at the side of her face. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Just…shut your mouth. I think your tongue has been active enough for one day, don't you?"

Her face hardens. "You don't know shit, Spencer."

"I know that bimbo you were sucking face with is cheating on you," Spencer replies, not caring if it hurt Ashley.

Ashley smiles faintly. "Lyssa's like, really into middle-aged, fat men. She's not a lesbian," she emphasises the last word to Spencer.

"Like I care," she says hotly.

Ashley's heart rate increases with a small rush of adrenalin. "Like I care if you care."

"Like I care if you care I care."

"What?" Ashley frowns. "God, you have your own language sometimes. I never know what the hell you're babbling on about."

"I thought sleep equalled 'no Spencer'," she breathes out mockingly. "Make up your mind."

"Oh, take your own advice, Spencer," Ashley spat out, her face flushing in anger. When she didn't receive a response, Ashley moves off the stool and leans down, picking up her bag and walks through the middle aisle to the front of the class. As she gets near the door she undid the buttons to her lab jacket.

"What the hell is she doing?" she hears a female voice ask. "She's crazy!"

Turning around, Ashley's eyes widen when she sees Spencer's arm drawn back with half a heart in her still gloved hand and opens her mouth to say something when the dead muscle is hurled her way.

"For god's sake, Spencer!" she yells from her position on the floor, her hands covering her head. She turned around and saw it laying limply by the door. She had missed.

"What's going on?" Mrs Allen asked. She had been consumed in her notes for her next class.

"She threw her heart at me!" Ashley exclaims.

Spencer was still standing there, now glaring at Ashley.

Without a word Ashley hurries over to the heart and hurls it right back at Spencer.

Ducking before it made contact with her, Spencer heard the girl behind her squeal and burst into tears. It had hit her in the face. She faces the brunette and they both stand there with screaming eyes.

"Heart fight!" some guy at the back hollers, lobbing two halves across the room. One at the girl who gave him herpes last year and the other at the one who had dumped him a week prior.

Ashley grabs a clean and empty metal tray and holds it in front of her, not wanting to be hit.

"Stop that this instant!" Mrs Allen screams.

Ashley stares at Spencer in a look-what-you-started kind of way until she's forced forward with a door opening harshly.

Lyssa stands there with blue lips from her lollipop and looks at Mrs Allen incredulously. "This is your idea of a 'trouble free' class?"

_

* * *

_

Ashley lay in bed with the phone pressed against her ear. It had rang almost thirty minutes ago and all she had heard was the calming sound of Spencer breathing. Her eyes were closed, imagining, just for a second, that she was there next to her.

"I miss you," she heard Spencer whisper, finally.

Ashley took a quiet deep breath to relieve the pressure in her chest. "I miss you, too," she replies almost inaudibly.

Miles away, Spencer lay in her bed and set her jaw, not wanting to cry over the phone.

Ashley hung up first.


	5. One Step Closer

**DeadWitchReading -** Oh yes. They always do. When I upload the document everything is underlined and italicised and I have no idea why. Thanks for pointing it out :). Exactly. Spencer really doesn't have any right to be jealous, yet at the same time she has every right to be. If only she would grow a backbone and stand up to her mother. *bows* Thank you. Haha, glad you were a fan of that. Aw, thanks! I really do appreciate every review and if someone takes the time to say something to me I will take the time to respond.

**EveryVillianIsLemons44 -** Thank you :D.

**NotxxWhatxxItxxSeems -** Hmm...well considering this is a short story, I'll let it slide. I'm tempted to say yes because you always say lovely things, however, you're off the hook this time ;). *hands you a barbie plaster (band-aid :P)* You might need it if the reviews I received on this chapter elsewhere are anything to go by.

**ashnspence4eva -** She's certainly a little hot-tempered when it comes to Ashley, yeah. Thank you :D. With Lyssa's final chapter, you might.

**cookietme7 -** Aw, thank you very much! I always try to make my versions of Spencer and Ashley as believable and relatable as I possibly can, so I'm really glad you think so :). Not at all, I adore when readers let me know what they think I'm doing right and what they think I'm doing wrong. Oh, absolutely!

**Conscious -** Ew. How was that? I dissected a cow's eye once. It was pretty damn gross (and TOUGH to get through), I've got to say. Thankfully I wasn't sprayed with the black goo that came out of it like a classmate of mine (who was a bitch, so I chuckled immaturely) was. The only thing I literally couldn't even touch was when we had to dissect a frog. I can't look at them, touch them, hear them...anything. They're so gross.

**kaila5707 **- It's not that weird when you think of how they want to be with each other but can't, because of the super religious members of Spencer's family. It really was. I wouldn't have been able to touch one of those, that's for sure.

**xxMaNdYxx -** Thank you, lovely :D.

**deb -** Thank you very much :). Hope you like the next chapter.

**awe -** They've both made you cry? Aww, I'm sorry about that! You did just give me huge compliment, though :D.

* * *

_Spencer stands in front of Ashley's desk and nervously tugs on the shoulder strap of her backpack. It has been almost a month since the brunette had uttered a single word to her and it was slowly killing her. "Ash…Ashley," she corrects herself, not knowing whether or not she could still call her that. _

_Ashley looks up to meet Spencer's eyes, her own indifferent. _

_Spencer swallows nervously and nearly sighs at the look she was being given. Ashley hadn't even looked at her since that day. "I…how are you?" she asks quietly, her heart already beginning to race. _

_She didn't show it on the outside but inwardly, Ashley wanted to laugh in disbelief. _

_Spencer waits patiently for a reply and sighs when it becomes apparent she isn't going to get one. At least not verbally. "Will you talk to me?"_

_Ashley's response is to turn her attention back to her blank sheet of paper, not wanting to show that the other girl could evoke any kind of response from her. _

_"Please, I…I miss your voice."_

_With her head lowered, Spencer doesn't see the brief clench of her jaw. _

_"I know it's selfish of me," the blonde continues quietly, in case their teacher arrived to class early. "But I can't help it."_

_A harsh response was on the tip of Ashley's tongue but she can't bring herself to say it. Spencer had made her bed, now she had to lie in it. _

_The silence was more than she could take. She would rather Ashley scream at her, hit her; anything other than this. But she knew Ashley would never do the latter, even if she deserved it. "Ashley," she tries to say firmly, her voice filling with emotion. "Say something. Yell at me, I don't care. Just say…*something*."_

_Ashley's heart is beating faster from hearing her pleading tone but her eyes reveal nothing as they stare back up at Spencer. She barely blinked. _

_Defeated, Spencer sighs and walks away from her desk, not actually supposed to be in the class, and looked as though she was going to burst into tears any second. "I wish…," she started as she got to the door, her voice dying out. She clears her throat lightly. "I wish we could still be-"_

_The pencil Ashley was holding was perilously close to being snapped in half. "I swear to god Spencer, if you finish that sentence…." _

_With her back to her, Spencer's eyes close briefly at hearing her voice say her name. The fact that her words were harsh was irrelevant, she just needed to hear her voice, it didn't matter what she said. "I do, though," she whispers quietly, knowing the response she was about to get._

_A frown appears on Ashley's forehead. Spencer had no right to be saying those words to her. "Fuck off, Spencer."_

_From then on, Spencer would say anything she knew would get a passionate response from her and Ashley—sick of it—would do the same._

* * *

"Spencer! Are you up?"

The girl rolls her eyes at her mother's screech from the bottom of the stairs. Every day she would shout up with that particular question and each time Spencer would reply positively, ignoring the almost overwhelming urge to reply 'Yes, bitch. I am awake.'

She hadn't been able to fall asleep until after three a.m.. The phone call with Ashley still fresh in her mind.

"Well hurry up, I'll drive you to school," Paula said at a normal decibel for such an early hour.

Spencer could drive but her car had decided it would die on her the day before and was currently sitting inside a garage, waiting to be fixed. She wants to decline her mother's offer to drive her to school but knew she couldn't, it was too late to walk there now, she doesn't want to miss first period with Ashley.

Exiting her bedroom and nearly flying down the stairs, she skids to a stop before she ran over her mother. "This quick enough for you?" Her tone a little sarcastic.

"You look terrible."

Spencer moves past her, quickly grabbing two apples. One for breakfast and one for Ashley in case she didn't have lunch. "So do you."

Paula moved her head to the side slightly, though much less endearingly than her daughter. She frowns. "Excuse me?"

Biting into her apple, Spencer could smile without her noticing. "Didn't I say it loud enough?" she asks with her mouth full.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Spencer."

"Don't talk to me, period."

Paula sighs. It had been this way with Spencer for months. "Get in the car, you're going to be late."

Spencer strolls past the woman she still despises and enters the car, immediately setting the radio-station to one she knew her mother can't stand.

* * *

A minute into their journey Paula switched off the racket blaring from the speakers and drove the rest of the way in silence. Pulling into the school parking lot, she clears her throat. "I can't pick you up, I'm working until late. Call your father or walk."

"Whatever," Spencer replies quietly, thrilled she didn't have to spend any more time with her mother.

Paula's response is caught in her throat as Lyssa and Ashley stepped in front of the car without looking and she was forced to slam on the breaks. The brunette delivers an impressive glare to the woman while Lyssa stops dead in her tracks and holds a hand to her chest as though she'd been frightened before she begins laughing. "Oh my god, can you see her? That woman looks like she was sucking on a lemon when the wind changed."

Ashley chuckles, agreeing silently. Her eyes are still amused when she looks to Spencer.

Spencer is smiling softly when Paula looks over and spots the action. She honks the horn and presses on the gas, intending to scare them out of the way.

Lyssa smacks a closed fist off of the hood. "Bitch, I'm walking here!"

The brunette laughs freely this time and wraps an arm around the girl's shoulders, leading her away.

"That girl," Spencer's mother mutters, referring to Ashley. "It's a shame we got the breaks fixed last month."

With one last withering glare, Spencer gets out of the car and slams the door shut, missing how her mother jumped in surprise.

* * *

By the time lunch rolls around Spencer's mood is considerably darker. Ashley hadn't spoken to her in any of their classes and was showing no signs of remembering their confessed words from the night before. For a second she wondered if it was another dream but quickly dismissed it.

She slowly walks to the table Ashley shares with Lyssa and stands behind them nervously. Ashley was the first to notice, the hairs standing up at the back of her neck a telling sign the blonde was close by.

"Hi," Spencer greets quietly, trying not to look at the girl sitting next to Ashley.

"Hey Spencer," she manages to reply, even quieter.

Feeling the tension, Lyssa turns around to face Spencer and opens her mouth to say something when she receives a hard kick to her shin. "I'll be leaving," she says to Ashley with wide eyes, silently telling her she'll pay for that. She stands up and grabs her bag. "Sister Spencer." She bows to the blonde before leaving.

"Why does everyone think I'm a nun?" she asks almost sadly.

Ashley looks back to the table to prevent a smile from breaking free and a second later looks to the occupied space next to her. Spencer was holding out an apple. Mindful not to touch her fingers, she takes the apple and mumbles out her thanks. If she was honest with herself, she thought the gesture was sweet but wished she'd bring her a sandwich, or something equally as filling. An apple just didn't cut it.

"You should really bring your own lunch."

"Yeah," she agrees, avoiding Spencer's eyes. It was a little awkward.

"I didn't mean what I said yesterday," Spencer says quietly and watches the frown appear on Ashley's forehead. "In class," she quickly rectifies, louder.

"Me either."

"The stuff you said in class or -"

"In class."

Spencer nods slowly and looks away, resting her hands on her lap.

"I had to wash my hands like, a million times to get rid of the smell," Ashley informs her, watching the girl turn back to face her.

After pulling a mildly disgusted face, Spencer smiles. "I bet."

The brunette clears her throat and looks in the other direction while Spencer inspected her own fingernails closely. The silence was thick.

"So this is kind of awkward, huh?" Ashley throws out there bluntly.

Spencer ignores the question and looks at Ashley's face freely. She hadn't been this close to her in a long time without yelling or trying her best not to sneeze from Ashley's repugnant lavender body spray. She hadn't worn it today. "I just…wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For talking to me."

Ashley nods briefly in response.

"Do you want to—I mean, would it be all right if we talked?"

"We are talking."

"No, I mean later when we're not around so many people."

"I guess." Ashley swallows her saliva almost nervously. She'd been waiting a long time for this. "If you want to."

"I do."

"Okay."

The bell makes Spencer jump and she pushes her lips together in slight embarrassment, positive Ashley had seen it and was raising her eyebrows in amusement.

"So, later?" the blonde asks as she stands up, wanting to confirm.

Looking up, Ashley nods. "Yeah. You need a ride home?"

"Kyla won't mind?"

"Kyla's old enough to make her own way home."

"Then yeah, that'd be great."

Ashley fights hard not to mirror Spencer's contagious smile. "I'll see you later."

"Okay." She smiles sweetly, unknowingly making Ashley's heart beat faster.

* * *

Ashley yawns loudly and blinks back the small tears that had formed into her eyes in doing so. She loathed calculus and her teacher, Mr Moore, spat when he spoke. She knew Spencer was in that class and she'd smiled faintly when she walked in, opting to sit in the desk next to Lyssa instead. She wanted to take it one step at a time with Spencer.

Ashley looks to the left and up a few seats where she sees Spencer sitting by the window scribbling away on a piece of paper--actually doing the work while she sat there, doodling. Glancing to the right she sees Lyssa hanging off the edge of her seat trying to get a better view of Mr Moore's ass. She laughs quietly, briefly shaking her head.

Tearing off a piece of paper, she writes "You need help" and folds it over before tapping the girl on the shoulder and puts it into her hand.

With a quick glance to her man candy, Lyssa looks down and openes the small piece of paper. She smirks and replies, passing it back and pops her gum loudly.

Ashley unfolds the paper and chuckles quietly, not knowing she gained the attention of a certain blonde. The note read "Call 911, I have a small fire in my pants". She lowers her pen and writes back "You're a whore. Fuck him and get it over with, this is getting ridic".

Across the room Spencer frowns, wondering if they were writing about her until she shakes her head, telling herself to stop being so silly. It was entirely possible for Ashley to talk about something other than her.

Staring at the paper, Lyssa raises an eyebrow and then slowly nods, seriously considering seducing Mr Moore after class was over. She rolls her eyes at the last word and writes a reply in her tiny script before passing it back to Ashley.

Ashley opens the paper and read "Ridic isn't a word, dick. You think Moore will do me over his desk? You and Spencer can use it when we're done. She's been giving you her "fuck me" eyes ever since lunch". Ashley rolls her eyes and writes "Fuck you, Lyssa" as her reply and throws it to Lyssa's desk. It bounces off her head and Ashley leans down to retrieve it when Mr Moore steps on the edge of it, drawing it back out of her reach.

She winces slightly, biting her bottom lip and throwing an amused glance to the girl next to her.

"Well well, what do we have here, Miss Davies?" Mr Moore announces, gaining the attention of the entire class. "Let's read it aloud, shall we?"

"Be my guest," Lyssa answers for her, sending him a smouldering look that causes him to clear his throat. "Sir." She smirks, biting the end of her pencil.

As he reads each sentence, his eyes widen and his face turns crimson red.

"What's it say?" someone hollers from the back.

"It's private," he splutters out, much to the amusement of Ashley and more-so, Lyssa. "You." He points to Lyssa. "Get out of my class."

She sighs, throwing her head back. "Why do I always get kicked out of class?" she asks incredulously.

"Out!"

"Make me," she challenges.

Ashley turns her head and looks over to Spencer and can't help holding eye-contact. The blonde smiles faintly and she returns it.

"Get out of your seat before I remove you myself!"

"Can you going to spank me, too?"

Mr Moore chokes on his spit. "That is not appropriate, Alyssa!"

"I think it's very appropriate, sir."

Ashley draws her eyebrows closer together and shakes her head, amused by the girl she can hear. She looks down and quickly scribbles another note down while Moore is busy and screws it up into a ball before tossing it across the class to Spencer.

Spencer catches it with a smile and turns around, unfolding it. "Lyssa's note said she wanted Moore to fuck her over his desk". Relieved they weren't discussing her, Spencer laughs and turns back to face the brunette, turning her lip up in disgust.

Ashley smiles and turns to face Lyssa who is standing up from her desk. She waves to Ashley and makes the universal 'call me' sign with her hand before running up behind Mr Moore —who was on his way back to his desk— and slaps him on the ass.

As she runs out of the classroom with Moore following her, intending to escort her to the principal's office, Spencer gathers her things and sits down at Lyssa's empty desk.

* * *

Ashley turns in her seat and throws her bag into the back before looking up to the blonde who was standing by the passenger door looking around the parking lot. "Are you waiting for an invitation?" she asks with a raised brow.

Spencer's eyes meet Ashley's and she shakes her head, quickly getting inside and closing the door. It had been a long time since Ashley had driven her anywhere.

"So, where to?" Ashley asks, hoping Spencer would say the beach. She missed going to the beach with her.

"Just home."

Frowning briefly, Ashley made a face. "You sure?" They'd be talking for hours, she figured and wondered if Paula would catch her there.

Spencer nods, pulling her seatbelt around her and smiles at Ashley. "You don't still drive like a maniac, do you? I've never met anyone with road rage like yours."

Ashley starts the car, smiling softly. "Nothing has changed."

"No, I guess it hasn't."

* * *

"So how long was Lyssa suspended for?"

Ashley takes her eyes off the road for a second. "Just two days. I can't believe they got her for sexual harassment."

They're two blocks away from Spencer's house.

"Do you think she'll stop now?"

"No." Ashley laughs. "She'll never learn."

"You have…interesting taste in friends."

"I wouldn't call her a friend…."

Spencer frowns briefly, looking at the side of Ashley's face. "Friend with benefits?"

It was Ashley's turn to frown. "Uh, no. Definitely not."

Spencer waits a second. "You kissed her yesterday."

"She kissed me."

"You didn't push her away."

The brunette doesn't bother to correct her. It wasn't her business who she kissed. "I don't want to fight, Spencer," she says rationally.

Spencer nods, knowing she didn't have a right to judge and reaches her arm down by the side of her legs, wrapping her fingers around her bag. "Can you, um…can you pull over?"

Quickly turning to the girl, Ashley's eyebrows furrow in concern --for both Spencer and for the interior of her car. "Are you going to hurl?"

"Glen's home, so you can't…," she admits reluctantly, trailing off.

Ashley's expression hardens and she pulls over to the side of the road. "What does it matter that he's home?"

"If he sees you, he'll tell…," Spencer trails off, closing her eyes briefly.

"Your mother," the brunette finishes for her. "It's still all about your mother."

"Ash, I want us to be…us again. How it used to be, but -"

"Don't call me that," she interrupts firmly. "And I love that "but" you just threw in there, really I do."

"You don't understand," Spencer says sadly. "I -"

"You know, I think I do. I understand that you were right before. _Nothing_ has changed. _You_ will never change." She clenches her jaw, hurt that Spencer was doing this to her again. "God, why are you doing this again?" she asks hotly. "I thought you wanted to talk."

"On the phone," the blonde admits quietly, knowing the words are pathetic.

"Oh, you're actually going to say something?" she asks sarcastically.

"I said everything last night," Spencer defends herself. "And so did you."

Ashley sighs and squeezes the steering wheel, her heart beating fast with adrenalin she always seems to get a rush of when she's around Spencer. She shakes her head and takes off her seatbelt. "I need to get away from you."

"What?"

Ashley opens her door and steps out of the car before slamming the door shut and takes a deep breath. She wants a cigarette.

"Ash…" Spencer starts, suddenly in front of her.

"Don't call me that!" she yells. "Just get the fuck away from me."

"No."

"Spencer, leave. Now."

Looking as though she was going to cry, Spencer shakes her head. "No. I…I have to make you understand."

"I'll never understand. Just go."

Spencer bit her lip hard and stared back at Ashley with pleading eyes. She didn't want it to be like this. She wasn't intentionally trying to hurt Ashley.

"Spencer, leave. Now," Ashley repeated.

Shaking her head, Spencer turns and walks away, leaving Ashley to laugh in a way that was far from amusement. "Great!" she yells after her. "You do what you do best, Spencer."

"What are you talking about?!" She turns around, dropping her bag and yells, "You told me to leave!"

"You're not supposed to!" Ashley fires back, stepping closer to her, not caring that they were screaming in the middle of the street.

"I'm not a fucking mind-reader, Ashley!"

Hearing Spencer curse fully for the first time almost makes Ashley stop. "You don't have to be! You just have to fucking look at me! I don't want you to go!"

Feeling as though she was on the verge of a heart attack with the speed her heart was racing, Spencer let out a frustrated scream. "God! You drive me insane!" Her tear-filled eyes were blazing into the brunette's.

Now five-feet away, Ashley stops. "And you piss me off!" she yells, her chest heaving. "All you've done ever since _then_ is be a bitch and then try to act like I owe you explanations every time I hang out with someone else. I don't owe you anything Spencer, and you have no right to act like I do."

Grateful that she doesn't have to listen to Ashley yell anymore, Spencer sighs at her own behaviour. "I know I've been selfish and -"

"Yeah, you have."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. And I know you don't believe me but I swear I've never meant anything more," she finishes quietly.

Ashley looks away, closing her eyes in frustration. She didn't want Spencer to make her cry anymore. "I can't do this anymore. All this fighting…it's -"

"I know," Spencer interrupts, stepping closer. "I don't want to fight anymore, either. I just…"

"You _always_ "just" or "but", Spencer. That's the problem," Ashley begins to raise her voice, frustrated. "Is your mom going to live your life for you, huh?"

"No," the blonde replies, frustrated and crying. "I just -"

"There's that word again."

"Stop it! I'm trying to explain and I'm just -"

"Oh for god's sake, Spencer!" Ashley fires out hotly before turning and walking away.

Hurrying forward, Spencer grabs her by the wrist and pulls her around to face her, their bodies pressed together. Forgetting to breathe for a second, she releases Ashley's wrist and grabs fistfuls of the material covering Ashley's abdomen. "I _want_ you," she emphasises, staring into her eyes.

Ashley is almost certain she's about to pass out and takes a few deep breaths to slow her heart, her breaths laboured. "You're going to say "but" again."

The blonde closes her eyes in frustration and rests her forehead against Ashley's. "I wish I didn't have to," she whispers out. "I wish I could be with you how I want to be. How I've always to be."

Ashley's hands move to Spencer's hips and pull her even closer, revelling in the sensation of holding her like that. She'd always wanted to. "Kiss me," she requests quietly.

"I want to," she answers, her voice thick with unshed tears. "But I can't."

Knowing she would hear those words Ashley tightens her hold on her hips, not wanting to let go yet.

Spencer pulls away and opens her eyes, blinking to push the hot tears from her eyes. She looks at Ashley desperately. "Ash, I -"

"Don't," she interrupts. "I know you do, but don't say it," she finishes quietly.

Nodding, Spencer releases her tight hold of Ashley's top and lifts her arms up, pulling Ashley into a tight embrace and burying her head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. Feeling Ashley's arms wrap further around her, more tears fill her eyes and she lifts her head a fraction, placing a single shaky kiss to Ashley's jawline. "I don't want to say goodbye again," she whispers, feeling her heart throb from the memory of last time.

"It's not," Ashley disagrees. "You know what to do, and you know where I'll be." She presses a kiss to the top of Spencer's head and has to forcibly remove Spencer's arms from around her neck.

"No, please don't let go yet," she pleads.

Forcing herself to ignore the blonde's desperate request, Ashley lets go of her hands and steps back. She said everything she needed to; it was up to Spencer now.

Watching her go, Spencer forces back a quiet sob, wanting her to stay with her. "Ashley."

Ashley momentarily closes her eyes and blocks out her voice, carrying on to her car.

She doesn't think she'll sleep tonight.


	6. Declarations

**lulubirdy -** Haha, shoulda kept your mouth shut :P. Women are far scarier than men when they're angry. You either get bitchy comments or the dreaded silent treatment. And neither gets you a kiss. Glad it's all sorted! You're lucky, she could have stayed mad at you for at least a week with your _several_ comments. :D Glad you liked that part, and thank you! Quite a few people really don't like her but I kind of can't see why. Thank you muchly for your feedback and remember to stay in Lanae's good-book!

**DeadWitchReading -** Swap the sheep hearts for cow eyes and you have one of my Science lessons in school. The teacher had left the room though. And I didn't participate. I was too busy being grossed out that people were touching dissected eyeballs and were lobbing them across the room. I was even more grossed out when one hit my back. And yay! Another Lyssa fan. I'm so glad you like her. Lol thank you :D. Then I think you'll like this chapter (hope so, anyway). It kind of depends. I've just finished a five-parter on Ashley's PoV of Blanket of Stars (which I actually got a positive response from. I didn't think it'd be that good) that I could post, but I'm sort of remembering a user tell me they wouldn't want to read it. I think it was you...or it might have been lulubirdy, I really can't remember. I have a memory like a seive sometimes.

Or I'm co-writing a story with clomle44 I could put up if she gave me the go-ahead. Orrr, if you wait a while, I'll post a new story I'm working on. I'm going to finish the entire thing before I begin posting anywhere though. I'm getting into the habit of leaving weeks or months between on updates and I hate doing that. So this way, writing it all first, I'll be sure to stick to an update schedule. I could post another completed story of mine but it was the first thing I ever wrote (when I was 18) and I don't know...I kind of really don't want to post it because it's really not my best work and loses plot after like, twenty-odd chapters. It's heavy fluff and 131 chapters long. I didn't know how to end a story back then :P. So, yeah, I'll put up something new soon. :D

**CaptainHeart -** Aw, thank you :D. Hope you like the update.

**Conscious -** OMG a cat?? Whaaat? That's legal? I wouldn't be able to. Seriously. I'd throw up. And I can't believe you're getting them back out! For your sake, I hope the preservation fluid has worked because you're going to have a foul-smelling classroom with a furry, sloppy pile of flesh in front of you. Jeez. Call in sick that day, man. I'll even do it for you! That's how therapists earn their living - hearing stories like that. I still can't believe it. Were you just fucking around with me? I wouldn't put it past you :P.

**ashnspence4eva -** You can't live off your girlfriend though. Especially not at seventeen. Glad you're still enjoying this :)

**awe -** lol I'm sorry!

**xxMaNdYxx -** Thank you!

**NotxxWhatxxItxxSeems -** Haha, sweeeet. You're far too kind, you know. But thank you, as always :D. GOOD! See, that's how it should be. Getting great grades (hello alliteration!) and then boosting my ego each day. It's win-win!

**jazziejazz94 -** Nah, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Remember, English chick here. It'd be more than strange if I celebrated lol. Hope you like the update today :).

**angelperry7 -** I've said it before and I'll say it again: "Wow" says a thousand (good) words. Thank you :D.

**aneres4lyfe -** I'm your god? lol. That kind of makes me feel bad for you :P. Thank you very much. Aw, yeah I really try to. For me, it's the best kind of writing to write. You advertised my work? Sweet! Thank you! I love, love, love, love your review :D.

**Sexyluv07 -** :D. Hope you still do after this update.

* * *

Spencer slams the front door shut and clenches her fists by the side of her, not knowing what to do with herself other than cry and try to force air into her starving lungs; she can't breathe.

"What the fuck are you doing? You're going to break the door in one those PMS fits of yours."

She hears Glen's voice at the top of the stairs but she can't respond, with her heart beating erratically she can see black spots clouding her vision and has to force herself to stop crying for just a second before she passes out through lack of oxygen.

Suddenly in front of her with a steadying hand on her arm, Glen looks concerned. "What's wrong?"

Spencer jerks her arm away from him and stumbles back, wrapping her arms around herself so nobody will touch her. Her head shakes. "Don't."

He furrows his eyebrows at her hysterical state and steps forward, easily prying open her weak arms and pulling her into him. Hanging loosely by her sides, Spencer manoeuvres her arms under her brother's to his chest. Spencer attempts to push herself free from his embrace, not wanting anybody other than Ashley to hold her. "Get off." Her head shakes and her breath hitches on the last word as more tears follow.

His strong arms are no match for her. "Did someone hurt you?"

"Get off," she whispers, surprising herself. She was shaking with anger.

"Tell me who it was and I'll rip his balls off."

"Get off!" Spencer finally yells, managing to send him back a step or two with a surprising burst of energy. She thinks of Ashley and her shoulders slump.

"Spencer," Glen addresses her gently, seeing the state she's in.

The blonde shakes her head in response, closing her eyes. She doesn't feel the new batch of tears falling. She can feel the anger begin to overpower her tears instead of fuel them.

"Spence."

"Call Mom," she whispers, swallowing her saliva and feeling herself shake as she forces back any emotion that's causing her to be weak. "Tell her… Tell her there's been an accident at home and she needs to get here," she says quietly. "Then call Dad, tell him whatever, I don't care. Just get him here."

"What's going on, Spence?" her brother asks.

She licks her dry lips and wipes her face. "Where's Clay? He needs to be here, too. I'm only going to say it once."

Glen steps forward. "Say _what _once? If some guy tried to… ." He can't say it. "I'll kill him, I swear. I just need you to tell me who it was."

"Where's Clay?" she repeats.

"I don't know."

"Call him, too. Make him come home."

"_Spencer_, Jesus."

"Just do it!" she yells, her eyes a luminous blue as she makes her way toward the stairs. "I don't have time to argue."

"You were just crying! What the hell is going on?"

Stopping and turning to face him, she nods, suddenly feeling almost calm. "And now I'm not. Just get everyone here, Glen."

* * *

Upstairs in the bathroom Spencer can hear her mother yell at Glen for lying to her after learning that there wasn't in fact an accident. It was just a mistake, Spencer thought. The past nine months had been a terrible mistake and she was going to fix it.

Her stomach is in knots and a glance down to her fingers confirmed that they were indeed shaking. She flexes them and takes a deep breath, knowing that her family was— by her request— sitting in the living room waiting for her and whatever news she had to tell them.

Exiting the room and descending the stairs, Spencer attempts to keep hold of her breathing and not let any of them know she is terrified. Over the banister she can see them sitting on the couches and wonders why she asked them to sit down. As they turn to face her she feels like she's on trial for murder.

"What is going on?" Paula asks her daughter as she enters the room fully.

Spencer presses her hand to her stomach briefly. The knots were growing and her heart was beating fierce but slow.

Arthur studies her face. "Honey, are you okay?"

Not knowing whether to sit or stand, Spencer shuffles nervously on her feet and wonders why she can't decide on one small action. Sit or stand. It wasn't difficult. With her fingers curled by her side she presses her thumb onto the back of her ring finger and drags it down a stretch of skin and back up.

Her insides are quivering and she clears her throat, making sure her voice is going to be strong. She faces her father and opens her mouth but changes her mind at the last second. Only one person in that room making her so uncomfortable she can't speak.

* * *

_"She's gay."_

_Spencer laughs, her eyes looking to the girl Ashley is blatantly pointing at. "She is not."_

_Ashley tips her head back trying to catch a piece of apple before it falls from her lips on to her lap. "Is too," she mumbles out._

_"She has her tongue down some guy's throat, there's no way she's a lesbian."_

_"So what? I've kissed plenty of guys."_

_The blonde looks at her incredulously. "Since you came out?"_

_"Well… no. Before."_

_"I rest my case."_

_"I'm telling you," Ashley says with an infectious smile, "that girl is a skirt chaser."_

_Spencer pulls a doubtful face. "I don't think she is, Ash."_

_"Tonight when she goes home she's going to come out to her mother and tomorrow she'll be all over me, you'll see."_

_Knowing Ashley is kidding Spencer smiles, shaking her head. "And what will her mother say, oh psychic one?"_

_"Uhh," the brunette starts, trying to think of something. "That bit in the bible about the boobs."_

_Spencer laughs out loud. "May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love?"_

_Ashley grins. "That's totally it. Your mother might even say that to me when I tell her I don't like 'the penis'."_

* * *

"What are you smiling at?"

Spencer looks to Paula and shakes her head, the smile slowly falling from her face now that she's back in reality. She nervously and awkwardly rubs the side of her face, now frowning. She wishes Ashley was next to her.

She thinks of before they moved to the city and remembers how her mother used to be; how they could talk about anything and make each other laugh; how if one would be in a bad mood it would latch on to the other; how they'd make fun of each other's music or joke around.

"We don't talk anymore," she says to Paula quietly. "You never ask me how I'm feeling or how my day was. You don't speak to me unless it's to criticize something I've done or someone close to me."

"That's ridiculous, of course I talk to you."

Spencer shrugs her shoulders. "Do you? I don't remember you talking to me like a person, never mind your daughter, in months. You barely look at me unless Dad is around."

"I know you've been fighting honey, but your mother has been worried about you," Arthur pipes up. "At your age it's not uncommon to clash with your parents over -"

"Clash?" Spencer raises an eyebrow and bites her lip briefly as she looks over to her mother. "Is that what you said? That we "clashed" over something?"

"Spencer, listen to me -"

Interrupting Paula, she carries on, "I would hardly classify telling me that I'm no longer welcome in this house and to never speak to you again as a clash." She looks around the room to her brother's and father. "Unless someone in this room disagrees?" she asks a little sarcastically.

Upon hearing that, Spencer's father moves forward in his seat, looking across to the woman he's been married to for nearly twenty years. "What?" he asks sternly. "Why?"

"And I'm so _over _being scared of you, Mom," the blonde continues. "Where's it got me, huh?"

"Paula!" Arthur yells to get her attention. "What is she talking about?"

"I wasn't going to let her continue spending time with that whore!" Paula shouts to him. "I was protecting her!"

"From what?" His voice is raised but isn't full-out yelling.

"From Ashley!"

"Christ, Paula! Is that why she hasn't been here in god knows how long? What the hell were you thinking?"

"Shut up," Spencer says firmly, this is her time to talk. "Fight when I'm not here. I don't want to hear it." She turns to face her mother fully. "Do you remember that night? How you reacted when I said I loved her?"

The older woman's jaw clenches slightly. "You were sixteen, Spencer. You didn't know the first thing about love."

"And now I'm not. Now I'm a year older and you know what?" she begins, her heart pounding. "I still love her."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"I do. I know that Ashley and I had the biggest fight today and the only thing I felt from her was how much she still loves me." Spencer shakes her head, thinking of how many times she's hurt the brunette over the last few months. "God, I've… I've been so terrible to her and she still loves me, Mom."

"She told you she loves you?" Paula asks incredulously.

"She doesn't have to tell me."

She shakes her head. "Ashley doesn't love you, sweetheart. Girls like her don't love anything."

"You don't know her," Spencer says firmly, remembering the last time she said that. "She makes me feel more loved when we're screaming at each other in the street than you have in almost nine months."

"Spencer," her father interrupts gently.

She turns to her father shaking her head. "No, let me say this. I have to."

"I didn't mean for it to be that way, Spencer. But after that night you were just… different. It's like you weren't my daughter anymore. You changed, too. Don't blame this all on me when you speak to me like I'm -"

"Like you're the person who started this?" Spencer challenges. "God, I was sixteen, Mom. I was sixteen and I was scared and you weren't there for me. You weren't supposed to say those terrible things, you were supposed to tell me you loved me and that it was okay."

"I do love you but you're not… you're not… ."

"Gay?" Spencer asks, feeling her heart beat in her throat.

"Don't you say that word in this house," her mother says harshly. "I don't want to hear it."

"And you know what? I didn't want to hear everything you said about the girl I'm in love with so, I guess we're even."

"Shut your mouth! You're not!"

Spencer misses the shocked replies leaving her brothers lips, hearing only her rapid heartbeat. She thinks everyone can hear it. "You think I'm just shy with guys?" she asks sarcastically. "Trust me, I'm not. I… I think some are attractive, sure. And I think some are really nice and I could love them," she says softly, looking her mother in the eyes. "But it would be how I love Clay and Glen, nothing more. I know it's not what you want to hear but I can't change who I am."

"You can, this isn't -"

"I tried," she interrupts quietly. "I've tried for months to be someone you want me to be and it hasn't worked. Ashley… she's all I think about; dream about. I can't just forget about her. I need her."

"No."

"I call her sometimes, you know," she starts. "When I can't fall asleep I call her and just listen to her breathing and then I can sleep."

"You're not in love with her, no. You're not going against everything you believe in, Spencer."

"I'm not telling you I'm an atheist, I'm just telling you I fell in love."

"And loving another girl is a sin!" Paula yells, standing up to look down to Spencer.

"What about "_Love covers a multitude of sins_"? I don't believe it's wrong. It can't be. This isn't the fifties, Mom."

Looking positively stunned, her mother shakes her head. "Where has all of this come from? Why now?"

"I wasn't ready then," the blonde explains. "But I am now. I can't live like this anymore, you don't know how tiring it is. I just want to be able to be who I am without you making me feel like I've murdered someone."

Feeling nothing but love for his daughter, Arthur shakes his head and reaches his hand out to her wrist. "You don't have to feel like that, honey."

"Yes she does," Paula says firmly. "I won't be the woman people talk about, identifying me by saying "the one with the gay daughter", I just won't."

Sick of hearing her mother talk and feeling stronger for having her brothers and father there, Spencer takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry I have to say it like this, but in case I haven't made myself clear: I love Ashley and I'm not going to hide that anymore. You want me to pack my bags? I will. I'll just… find somewhere, I don't care. As long as I don't have to hide, I'll do it. Anything has to be better than this. I won't keep hurting her just to spare your feelings."

"Whoa," Clay pipes up, finally. "Who said anything about you leaving? I didn't hear that."

"You're not going anywhere, Spencer," Glen agrees. After seeing the state his sister was in earlier and hearing her words just now, his opinion on Ashley has changed considerably.

Only now can Spencer feel herself shaking. Daring to look back up to meet her mother's eyes, she swiftly looks away, seeing the disgust in them hurting her.

Without a word Paula pushes past her daughter and picks up her keys, quickly leaving the house.

"I'll be back in a second, Spence," Arthur says before rushing after his wife.

Standing there with her eyes still closed, Spencer can feel her heart racing and releases a long slow breath, not quite knowing how she feels at the moment.

"Don't worry, Spence, she'll be back. It's just for show." Glen says, causing her to open her eyes and turn to face him.

"I don't know," she responds quietly, not quite believing she just came out. She felt weird.

"That was nothing, wait until she finds out Clay is a big flamer."

Clay chuckles, shoving him off the side of the couch. "Shut up."

Knowing the answer, Spencer smiles. "Are you, Clay?"

"No!" he screeches.

"You know," Glen begins, pushing himself to his feet. "We can stay up tonight and watch The L Word if you want."

* * *

__

"So come on, girlie. Spill."

The blonde turns to face the girl she's known almost two weeks and raises an eyebrow. "Spill what?"

"The beans."

"Beans?" She looks down to her lunch tray, feigning ignorance. "I don't have any beans."

Ashley rolls her eyes. "Who are you into?"

"That's such an eighth grade phrase, Ashley."

The brunette smiles. "Okay, then what guy do you want to push up against the lockers and kiss until you can't breathe?"

"And what makes you so sure there *is* a guy I want to push up against the lockers?"

"Everybody lusts after someone."

Spencer takes a sip of Coke. "Then I'm asexual."

"Don't be an ass," Ashley chuckles out. "There's absolutely no way someone like you is asexual. Come *on* Spencer, there are plenty of cute guys in this place. Granted, none of them have a brain and I wouldn't touch any of them with a ten-foot barge pole, but still… ."

"Someone like me? What, someone born in Ohio?" she teases, getting a fry thrown at her. "Cute guys, yeah. Woo," she says unenthusiastically.

"So we're ruling out guys?" Ashley asks seriously.

"No. I don't know. I mean, I'm sixteen and I've never been in love. I think it's a little early for me to be saying things like that, anyway. I don't ever want to say it unless I mean it."

"You'll mean it one day."

"I don't know, I think the world will end before I do."

"Or when you do," Ashley teases.

The blonde chuckles. "Or when I do."

* * *

Ashley's feet sink and slide back in the sand as she makes her way toward Spencer and she thinks of the last time she was here. Like all those months ago, she had received a text from the blonde asking her to please meet her at the beach, it was important.

She read it and tossed her phone aside, not intending to satisfy Spencer's request after the day they'd had, but ten minutes passed and she couldn't think about anything other than what the other girl could possibly have to tell her.

Spencer sat in the same spot she'd sat all those months ago and dug her fingers deep into the sand, curling her fingers together and pulls up a handful of sand that easily pours back through the space between her fingers. She was nervous.

"Hey," Ashley announces quietly and unnecessarily. Spencer had heard her car and the sound of her jeans as she approached.

Looking up, Spencer sees Ashley standing next to her nervously and in turn felt her heart begin to beat faster. "Are you going to sit down?" she asks after a few seconds.

The brunette sits down next to Spencer, leaving a foot of space between them. Rubbing her hands on her knees nervously, Ashley sighs as she looks out to the black looking ocean with part of it being illuminated by the moon.

"So… ."

Spencer smiles faintly, staring freely at the side of Ashley's face. She still has a knot in her stomach that won't go away but she figures it's just from the eventful night she's had. Her mother re-entered the house an hour later and didn't so much as glance at her, leaving the blonde to sigh in relief.

It wasn't over and it would take a long time, but if she could learn to not be so snappy when her mother needed patience then, eventually, she thinks it will be okay.

Sitting there with the brunette, Spencer suddenly didn't know how to say why she'd asked Ashley there without sounding like an idiot. She clears her throat and digs her fingers back down into the sand as she feels her heart rate increasing for the umpteenth time today. "So, um," she begins shakily, looking toward the ocean much like Ashley is doing. "My mom didn't say "may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love" when I told her, but at least she didn't threaten to kick me out."

Feeling her heart thud in her chest, a smile slowly makes itself apparent on Ashley's face. "What?" she asks, needing to hear her say it again.

Spencer smiles as soon as she sees the brunette do the same. She notices that she's still staring out to the ocean, scared to look at her in case she heard wrong.

Moving her arm, Spencer shifts her body and leans into Ashley's ear. "The world is ending."


	7. I Loved You First

**AN: Sorry for the lack of feedback on feedback for this chapter. I'll make up for it next time, I promise.**

_Sitting there with the brunette, Spencer suddenly didn't know how to say why she'd asked Ashley there without sounding like an idiot. She clears her throat and digs her fingers back down into the sand as she feels her heart rate increasing for the umpteenth time today. "So, um," she begins shakily, looking toward the ocean much like Ashley is doing. "My mom didn't say 'may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love' when I told her, but at least she didn't threaten to kick me out."_

_Feeling her heart thud in her chest, a smile slowly makes itself apparent on Ashley's face. "What?" she asks, needing to hear her say it again._

_Spencer smiles as she sees the brunette do the same and who is still staring out to the ocean; scared to look at her in case she heard wrong._

_Moving her arm, Spencer shifts her body and leans into Ashley's ear. "The world is ending."_

_

* * *

_

"So, you know," Spencer begins, leaning her forehead against the side of Ashley's head. "We should probably kiss, or something. Before we die and all."

The smile on Ashley's face grows as she slowly turns to face the blonde and reaches up a hand to frame the left side of her face, feeling her heart beat faster when Spencer leans into it. "Smooth," she comments. "Promise you won't freak out and leave?"

Nodding slowly, she whispers, "Not even if you yell at me."

"What if I ask nicely?" the brunette asks, her smile gone as she leans forward almost imperceptibly.

"I'd shut you up," she whispers, staring at her lips.

"How?"

Spencer lifts her gaze to meet Ashley's eyes and blushes softly at the look she's being given. "With my lips." She blushes even harder and looks down. After wanting to say it for so long, it was strange—in a good way—finally saying it to her face.

Ashley laughs quietly and feels Spencer's slight hesitancy, even now, and attempts to ease it. "I talk out of my ass sometimes, you know. You gonna shut me up with a kiss there, too?"

With Ashley's hand still on her face, she reaches up and loosely wraps her fingers around her forearm while brushing her thumb across the smooth skin of her wrist. Biting her lip, she replies, "Maybe."

"Spencer." Ashley lifts the hand that was resting behind her holding her weight up as she leans back slightly and moves it to the blonde's chin, tipping it up so she could see her eyes. She wanted to wait a second so her heart could regulate its beat before kissing Spencer. After all, it wasn't fair to the girl if she went into cardiac arrest while kissing her.

"Will you do something for me?" Spencer asks with such an innocent look on her face, Ashley is powerless to deny her.

"Anything," she replies softly, hoping Spencer doesn't want her to eat something they'd eat on Survivor.

"Get the towel I know you still keep in your trunk."

"Why?"

Spencer moves Ashley's hand off her face and feels cold at the lack of contact. Kissing her palm, she smiles. "Because I asked you to."

Ashley returns a minute later holding the rolled up towel and waving it around unnecessarily for Spencer to see. "Are you cold? 'Cause you should have just asked me for a blanket."

Shaking her head negatively, Spencer gets to her feet. "No, but we'll be shivering in a few minutes."

"Why?"

"And we'll be wet."

"Just…clarify what you mean by wet and shivering, because honestly, Spencer I -"

Spencer puts her hand over Ashley's mouth, fighting back a full blown grin, she settles on an amused smirk and leans her head to the right in direction of the ocean.

Glancing to the right, Ashley's eyebrows furrow briefly. "You want to go swimming? Now?" she asks a little incredulously.

The blonde takes a second to reply, captivated to the cute little crease next to Ashley's eyebrow as she frowned lightly. It was such a small thing but she couldn't look away. "Take…take off your clothes," she whispers, smoothing her thumb over the crease of the brunette's forehead.

"…No."

Spencer laughs softly at the look on her face. "Come on. I won't look, I promise."

Laughing at the blatant cross of fingers held in front of her face, Ashley pushes them away. "Are you going to come?" She pauses, wondering if that sounded shady. "With me in the water for a swim?"

"Yes and no."

"You gonna Prue Halliwell yourself into the ocean?" she asks, teasing.

Spencer bites her lip and inwardly pleads with herself not to blush. "I'm going to take my clothes off and I'm going to pretend to look away while you take off yours, and then we're going to go in the water."

Ashley clears her throat lightly and takes a shuddering breath. "Underwear, too?" she asks, not breaking eye-contact.

While being bolder than she ever dreamed she would be, Spencer was still Spencer. "I'm keeping mine on, but if…if you want you can…" she trails off with a wave of her hand.

Silently deciding that she's not going to completely strip in front of Spencer—at least in a public place—Ashley holds eye-contact as she reaches her hands to the hem of her top and slowly peels it from her body, dropping it at Spencer's feet.

Thankful Ashley took the first move and eased some of her lingering apprehension, the blonde follows suit, pulling the white laced material over her head and dropping it on top of Ashley's previously discarded item of clothing.

"Spence, I feel kind of stupid," Ashley admits with a small smile. "What if someone is, like, out walking their dog and they see us all…you know." She bobs her head, truthfully only concerned for the other girl. She's not shy.

At almost midnight, Spencer doubts anybody will be out walking their dog. "Strip faster."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that," she remarks, her hands undoing the button of her jeans as Spencer pulls her skirt from her body.

With clothes pooled at her feet and the wind moving her hair slightly, Spencer—with a thumping heart—reaches down without a word and slips her hand into Ashley's, interlacing their fingers and taking a second to revel in the sensation. "Come on," she says quietly, tugging on the soft hand.

"Are you sure you want to go swimming? I mean, it's going to be freezing and it's kind of dangerous," Ashley says as she's --for the moment-- willingly pulled along, getting closer to the shoreline.

"Only if you've been drinking and I'm fairly certain I haven't."

Ashley winces, feeling the damp, cold sand beneath her feet. "You know, I have a heated pool at home if you want to just -"

"Nope," Spencer interrupts nicely. "Here."

"I'll kick my legs out and make waves for you at home."

"Here," the blonde reiterates firmly, with a smile.

"I'll be Jack Dawson-ing it before you know what's hit you."

"Don't be so silly."

With her mouth open, attempting not to gasp too loudly at the cold water lapping up past her ankles, Ashley doesn't think she's being 'so silly'. She turns to walk back to the nice warmer sand. "Seriously, Spencer. Let's go back to my place, okay? I don't want any sharks gnawing on your butt."

Yanking her back, Spencer has to steady her before she falls right over and then carries on, walking deeper into the water. "They wouldn't be gnawing, trust me."

Mouthing an obscenity three times over and opening her mouth in a silent gasp of torture, Ashley squeezes tighter to Spencer's hand and feels the spongy sand beneath her feet, easily pushing her toes into it and—god help her—following Spencer until she's waist high in what feels like the Atlantic ocean. "You have a gun?" she chatters, barely audible over the sound of the waves. "'Cause I got the bullets."

Spencer stops walking when the waves are lapping around the top of her chest and her tiptoes are just barely digging into the sand beneath. "You're such a baby."

The brunette smiles faintly, her teeth chattering far more than necessary, wanting to pile it on thick for Spencer in hopes that she'll take pity on her. She has to swim, her little legs too short to stand up anymore. "Two seconds away from floating down to the bottom, Spencer," she whispers faintly. "And Jesus, I can barely see you."

"Doesn't matter."

"You're here to kill me and dump my body, aren't you?"

Spencer smiles, releasing Ashley's hand and snaking them around her waist, pulling her body against her own and inhaling sharply. She was so soft. With the close proximity, the darkness, and the water, Spencer's heart rate sky-rocketed. "I just want to feel you."

She didn't go into the water for a swim. She went into the water for a kiss she'd been dreaming about for months.

"Are you okay?" she whispers to the brunette who looked as though she was going to pass out.

"Still thinkin' you're trying to kill me," she breathes out, her heart pounding and suddenly nervous at having the other girl so close after wanting it so long.

Spencer walks back slightly so the other girl's feet touch the surface of the sand. "Put your arms around me," Spencer replies, keeping her voice low but loud enough to hear over the water. One hand goes to the smaller girl's shoulder.

Without a second thought, Ashley's hands instantly go to the blonde's waist and exhales softly as she feels Spencer's other hand reach up and her arms lock loosely around her neck, carefully twirling her fingers around a lock of her hair.

Neither speak for a minute, each savouring the contact.

"It was you," the blonde starts, looking down to meet eyes she can just about see in the moonlight. "When you asked me who I wanted to kiss until I couldn't breathe: it was you. It is you."

"I know," Ashley replies softly, not intending to be cocky.

Gently tugging on her hair, Spencer tips Ashley's head back and touches a wet hand to frame her face before gently lowering her head and brushes her lips against Ashley's so softly she'd wondered if she'd even made contact.

With the smallest, briefest bit of contact, Ashley's legs were jello. Opening her eyes, she sees the blonde admiring her, her hand carefully pushing her dark hair back behind her ears and smiling faintly while looking more innocent than Ashley has ever seen her.

Lowering her head once more, Spencer seals her lips over the brunette's mouth in another soft, barely there kiss until she feels the hand delicately resting on her waist move up under her arms to her neck, fingers splayed across her skin as Ashley kisses her back, slanting her head and turns their soft kiss into something a little less innocent; something that could never be mistaken for a kiss of friendship.

Feeling the tip of her tongue gently tracing across her bottom lip before retreating, the blonde moves her hands down the smaller body pressed against her. Snaking them around her waist and pressing the advantage, she runs her tongue over impossibly soft lips and feels the tip of her tongue brush against Ashley's, simultaneously feeling her insides clench.

Groaning, Ashley deepens the kiss, clutching her fingers against the nape of Spencer's neck where they moved on their own accord, her tongue duelling with its partner and moaning softly, its sound drowned out by the waves.

Spencer pulls away first, the need for oxygen momentarily overpowering her need to feel the brunette's lips against her own. She doesn't go far, her forehead resting against Ashley's as her tongue runs over her full-from-kissing lips and smiling as she tastes nothing but the brunette.

With their lips once again fused together they fail to notice the wave raising behind them which quickly forces them underneath, never losing contact as they're pushed back a few feet, falling through the water until Ashley is sitting on the rippled sand underneath seemingly black water. Her hands still around Spencer's neck as she lies almost against her; the pull of waves pushing her forward and then back.

The brunette's toned legs push her up off the spongy bed of sand and propel her and the blonde to the surface, gasping softly for air.

Without a word, she reaches down for Spencer's hand and leads them back to shore as quickly as she can without falling over. When the water is lapping just below their ankles she picks up her pace and stops only when she reaches the damp sand she would never again call cold; her body now on fire as she slowly turns to face Spencer, gently cupping her face and kissing her with fervour.

The blonde's fingers flex down onto Ashley's shoulders, a soft moan being passed through to Ashley's mouth before the need to feel her body flush against her own consumes her and she tugs hard on her shoulders, lowering them both to the sand she can barely feel.

Breaking away from her lips, Ashley trails warm, wet kisses down Spencer's jaw line, tasting the salt from the ocean and something that is uniquely Spencer. Her hands rub respectively on areas she's positive the blonde is comfortable with as her teeth are busy worrying a patch of skin on her neck, soothing it with her tongue moments later.

Arching her back slightly, Spencer can't help the small moan that works its way from her throat and feels the other girl smile against her skin before she pulls her back up, re-claiming her lips and deepening the kiss within seconds. She quickly feels Ashley's arms come to rest by the side of her head and her body lowering to the side of hers while the tide rises just barely, the water just barely lapping around the blondes waist before retreating back to the ocean.

Lost in each other's mouth and bodies Ashley doesn't think twice before shifting her body further over Spencer's, manoeuvring a leg between hers and feeling Spencer tangle her fingers into her sea soaked hair, flexing and scraping against her scalp as she applies pressure to the apex between her legs.

Moving her hands and pulling Ashley's body firmer against her own, Spencer's nails leave impressions on her shoulders as her swollen, wet lips slide, press, and tug at the girl's above her, bringing forth moans she's only ever dreamed about.

Hours later, they barely notice the sun rising, consumed with each other.


	8. Not Quite There

**xxMaNdYxx -** Your favourite writer on here? Aw, thanks! :D

**Sexyluv07 -** Here is more :)

**DeadWitchReading -** "pure sugar coated goodness on a french vanilla stick of chocolate" LOL gee thanks! Favourite chapter by any author? I don't know...I think you're just being far too kind, but thank you muchly :D. I dunno, dude, I'm so lazy lol. I'll definitely post SOMETHING else though, purely for your hilarious reviews.

Haha, sorry! Death to italics! Honestly, it takes at least an hour for me to post the chapters on this site. By the time I've re-edited the tags and everything from a forum to a site like this, done feedback on feedback, and then italicise what I want, an hour has usually passed. And even then it fucks up! It's pretty annoying but eh, it's okay. I'm over it. I was so worried about this chapter originally because I'd never written in third person PoV (and third person present tense is confusing as hell, I prefer third person past tense in two other fics I'm writing). The end is...the chapter after this chapter. But they're both long! Well...sorta. This chapter is 12 pages in Word, and the next is 23. Yeah... it's long. It's much easier to impress you than people at publishing houses :P.

**ashnspence4eva -** Haha aw, she's sorry...sorta. And thanks!

**jazziejazz94 -** Thanks! Glad you liked those parts :)

**lulubirdy -** I haven't, no. Who's in that one? Lol really? Well I don't have it much better in England. If I did that, I'd die of hypothermia. Thaaank you :D

**awe -** Will do!

angelperry7 - Aw, thanks :)

**Conscious -** Haha, well no, they would have stopped for a while. I wonder who could JUST make-out for 5 or 6 hours. I'd be ready to burst, too. And dude, that gross cat thing...I would honestly just skip that class. Those fumes are fucking gross. When I was in school we had to do a 2-week work placement and could choose where we wanted to go, so...just because we were interested in it back then, me and the twin did ours at a Funeral Director's. I know, kinda weird. We had to lie about our age (it was the headteacher's idea) to be allowed to do it, but we went there and god...the smells in that place...I will never forget them. It's safe to say neither of us are still interested in it. I've definitely had my fill of seeing corpses. We saw like, 75 bodies or something and some of them were NOT pretty. Suicide in front of an 18-wheeler...you can imagine what it was like, some uncollected guy who's fingers were dropping off, his skin was peeling and he fucking REEKED, like..for real. Tons more stories, but I'm sure you'd rather not read them.

**NotxxWhatxxItxxSeems -** I will not write a million stories so you can quit school :P. A paper on succeeding by failing? Rather you than me! You're like, the best reader, you know. Easy to please and sweet. Aw, yeah I would too.

**wannabebo352 -** Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :D.

* * *

"Hey, Sister Mary Clarence, over here!"

Ashley smacked Lyssa's sandwich out of her hand. "Don't call her that," she insists, spotting Spencer approaching and smiles before she can stop herself.

"I would have to agree," the blonde concurs, kissing Ashley's cheek before taking the seat next to her.

Forgetting about her sandwich, Lyssa unwraps a lollipop. "No, come on, it's totally fitting. You're the bad nun now."

"I…don't think I am."

Internally, Ashley is very much agreeing with her friend. In the past month Spencer had shown her a whole different side to her and she had loved every second of it. "I can't believe you even remember her name, Lyssa. The movie is ancient."

"It was on TV last night and I didn't change the channel, sue me," Lyssa replies. "Besides, Kathy Najimy is fucking hilarious and Maggie Smith makes a convincing prude."

"Speaking of," the brunette begins, turning to face Spencer. "How is Mother Superior this morning? She giving you her stink-eye, still?"

"If by "Mother Superior" you mean my mother, and by "stink-eye" you mean a narrowing of only her right eye, then yes," she replies, pausing to smile at the other girl who's looking at her with adoration. "But she actually spoke to me this morning without a hiss, so you know, progress."

"Progress indeed," Ashley responds with a small chuckle, picking the crust off Spencer's sandwich and taking a bite.

"Oh my god," Lyssa laughs. "She's still on with that? Tell her to accept it and move on already, Jesus. It's immature, right?"

In the past few weeks Spencer had found that without the inane jealousy on her part, Lyssa wasn't so bad. Needed a kick up the butt, sure, but she was all right.

Answering her own question, Lyssa responds, "I know more mature cheese."

"Far be it from me to defend the woman who egged my house," Ashley begins. "But it's still pretty new. I think we should just give her a little more time before we condemn her to hell."

"She egged your house?" Spencer asks seriously. "No. She wouldn't have. I know she's not our biggest fan, but still…that's so beneath her."

Across the table a certain black haired girl with a strawberry lollipop was smirking. "You didn't give me the twenty bucks you owe me, I was just getting a little revenge."

Shaking her head, Ashley turns around. "So you spend money on eggs because I owed you money? Nice logic."

"I wasn't entirely sober." She holds out her hand. "Pay up."

"You know, when you add up the wages of the help the demon also known as my mother had to pay, along with all the stuff they used to clean it, you owe _me_ money."

"I'm willing to forget about this misunderstanding if you are."

"Of course you are," the brunette answers with a smirk.

Lyssa makes a face and catches Spencer's eye, looking her over she smiles and stands up to plop down on the other side of her. "So, _Spencer_," she emphasises her name. "I have to tell you, you look like sex on legs today." She smiles as though she's said something sweet.

Smiling, she replies, "Is that a compliment? Because I have to tell you, my girlfriend doesn't like to share."

"Maybe if I offer her the right amount of cash…."

"Hey!" Ashley leans over Spencer to smack Lyssa around the back of the head.

"I was kidding," she chuckles, rubbing the back of her head. "God, where's your sense of humour?"

Before Ashley pulls back, Spencer leans down for a brief kiss that lasts seconds, not entirely comfortable with PDA at school yet, but she's getting there.

"You said something funny?" the brunette asks, her tone laced in sarcasm.

Chuckling, Lyssa reaches into her pocket. "You're boring today, Davies." She turns to the blonde, holding a lollipop. "My sincerest apologies for any distress I may have caused you," she says, mostly for Ashley so she doesn't kick her ass. Holding out the candy she smiles as Spencer's soft fingers come into contact with her own. "I think you just turned me, Spencer."

Smiling, Spencer leans in and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm honoured," she teases back.

"And that's enough," Ashley announces, pulling Spencer into her and wrapping an arm protectively around her shoulders. "You don't know where Lyssa's face has been, Spencer. Trust me when I say you don't want to kiss it."

Lyssa smirks at the brunette. "Whatever, I'm out of here. Some of us have teachers to do."

"Don't you mean homework?" Spencer asks.

"No," Ashley and Lyssa reply in unison.

She winks and stands from the table. "Bye Spencer."

"I don't get a goodbye?" Ashley looks mildly insulted.

Grabbing the girl by the shoulders, Lyssa leans down and presses the side of her face against Ashley's. "Bye," she drawls.

When Lyssa is out of ear-shot Ashley turns around on the bench and rests a leg either side, facing Spencer with her hands on her knees. Her nails are lightly scraping against her jean-clad knees. "How are things with your mother, really?"

Shrugging, Spencer's hands reach to Ashley's and lightly play with her fingers. They'd last spoke about her a few days ago. It was pointless to continue asking every day as Ashley had done for the first two weeks. It was the same answer each time. "She comments, and she makes sure I'm not next to her at the table when we have dinner so that I won't have to hold her hand. But she removed the cross on my bedroom door and stopped Father Robinson from blessing the water this week, so…progress."

Ashley smiles, tangling her fingers with Spencer's. "That water was _good_."

"Glad you liked it," the blonde responds, smiling. They'd both laughed over the blessed water she was forced to bring into school and she laughed even more when --after she'd taken a sip-- Ashley fell to the floor gasping and squirming around as though her insides were on fire.

"What are we doing this weekend?" Ashley asks, thrilled it's Friday and that she has Spencer all to herself. Arthur had seen to that weeks ago when Paula originally refused Spencer to sleep over at the other girl's house.

"Tomorrow, whatever you want. Sunday, whatever I want."

"So tomorrow we're in bed all day, got it. What do you want to do on Sunday?" She brings the blonde's hands up and kisses her knuckles.

Though it doesn't show on her face, Spencer feels it heating up. "Yeah, I need to catch up on sleep," she teases, moving a free finger over Ashley's full bottom lip and letting her suck the tip inside.

They'd spent long hours discovering each others bodies, learned which parts liked the most attention to, which parts made them arch up off the mattress moaning, revelled in sensations of full skin-on-skin contact and allowed declarations of love to echo in their minds.

"Actually," Spencer began. "It'll just be Sunday afternoon, remember?" Each Sunday the blonde was still forced to go to church. She enjoyed it but it wasn't something she wanted to attend each week. "But…I'd love it if you came with me. Some of it's boring but it's not that bad."

Looking like she'd been slapped, Ashley's eyes widened. "You want me to sit in God's house within a precautionary twenty foot distance between Paula and I?"

"I do."

"Did you have a bowl full of crazy for breakfast? No, not in a million years. Your mother would have my head."

"We don't have to sit by my parent's, Ash. I mean, it's a pretty big church."

"And what would Mother Superior say if she saw me in said church, clutching a bible?"

"She'd probably faint." Spencer laughs.

The brunette mirrors it. "I'll bring the camera."

"So, you'll come?" Spencer asks, thrilled of the idea of Ashley tagging along to a Sunday service.

"Will it make you happy?"

"Euphoric."

"Then I guess I'll go," she agrees a little reluctantly but willing to do anything as long as she can spend time with the other girl.

The blonde smiles, leaning in for a lingering kiss and forgetting about any potential audience they may have. "Thank you."

* * *

With the last class of the day spent without each other, Spencer waits at the other girl's locker for her and taps her foot against the row of them impatiently when she spots her walking next to Lyssa who both have boys and the occasional girl drooling over them as they pass.

"Hey," the brunette breathes out, stepping into Spencer's personal space.

"Hi."

Hearing the noise of the students around them, Ashley curses them inwardly. She wants to kiss her. Lyssa glances at the couple and sighs at the loving gaze being shared. Quickly removing her jacket, she wraps it around their heads, shielding them from view as her hands pin it against the lockers either side of their heads. "Get it over with."

"Remind me to buy her some candy," Ashley murmurs before bringing her hands up to cup Spencer's face and covering her lips with her own.

With her hands at Ashley's hips, visible to any passers by, Spencer returns the kiss, slanting her head and brushing her tongue against the brunette's full bottom lip. Quickly gaining access she tightens her grip on Ashley's hips as their tongues duel and involuntary sounds escape them.

Ashley's lips attach themselves to the soft skin of her neck and she bites her lip, attempting to hold back a moan. As soon as those lips and tongue scrape and sooth over her pulse point, Spencer loses the fight and releases a small moan. Squeezing briefly but firmly on her hips, Ashley gets the hint and reattaches their lips, kissing her slowly and brushing her thumbs over the smooth, warm skin of her cheeks. "I love kissing you," she whispers as they part briefly for air.

"Three," Lyssa announces, bored.

Spencer turns their slow, soft kiss wet, hard, and fast, not caring that they're at school. They have momentary privacy.

"Two."

Wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck, Ashley pushes her body flush against hers, their tongues duelling.

"One." Lyssa waits a second before pulling the jacket away and slipping it back on. "I hope you didn't get drool over this."

While the love birds casually straighten their clothes and tidy up messed hair, a small, mousy-looking girl walks over to them, having been watching 'the show'. "Spencer," she greets coldly. She'd spent over eight months being her friend and she'd been dropped all of a sudden for the school dyke.

The blonde clears her throat and feels her heart returning to a semi-normal beat. "Uh, hey Michelle."

Michelle gives Ashley a disgusted look before she re-faces Spencer. "It's not too late, you know. These people, they're not on the right path. You'll go to hell, Spencer."

Smirking, Lyssa brushes past Ashley and stands in front of Spencer, leaning her elbow against the locker and resting her weight on it she looks Michelle up and down. "Hi there, beautiful."

"Excuse me?" she sneers. "Was that some sort of a come on for you people?"

Being entirely heterosexual, Lyssa smirks. "If I was coming on to you, your shirt would already be off," she replies, tugging on the hem of her plain white shirt. Nobody talks to her friends like she did and get away scot-free

Slapping her hand away, Michelle looks to Ashley. "You're going to hell, you know. All of you are."

"I'll be sure to save you a seat," Spencer replies, knowing her girlfriend is two seconds away from doing something she'll regret.

Lyssa scrapes her nails across the material covering Michelle's abdomen. "What time should I pick you up, honey?"

"I have a _boyfriend_."

"Then tell Jeeb I said thanks for the ride," Lyssa murmurs, quickly leaning forward for a kiss and startling the girl, causing Ashley to smile

Gasping, Michelle harshly pushes her away and slaps her face before making a hasty exit.

"Ow," Lyssa chuckles out, holding a hand to her stinging face as she turns to face both girls.

Ashley laughs. "That was awesome."

Spencer nods in agreement. "Thank you, Alyssa."

Spencer usually calls Lyssa by her full name and she always gets an eye-roll in response. "Don't call me that, Spencer. You sound like my mother." She looks her up and down appreciatively. "My hot, sexy -"

"Unless you want a matching hand-print on the other side of your face, you won't finish that sentence," Ashley warns, kidding.

Laughing softly, Lyssa nods. "As gorgeous as she is, I still love me some sausage."

"Thank you for that…wonderful visual, Lys," Ashley replies dryly.

"Entirely my pleasure. Okay gorgeous people, I'll see you on Monday. Or, call me if you want a booty call." She winks at Spencer.

"She has all the booty she needs right here!" Ashley replies with a playful expression on her face.

* * *

After indeed spending most of Saturday in Ashley's room underneath the covers, it was time for Ashley to willingly drive to church. She hasn't been to church since she'd been christened, she doesn't think. She picks up her phone and considers calling Lyssa to tag along but decides against it, knowing she'd make matters with her girlfriend's intolerant mother so much worse and would probably hit on the priest.

As if on cue, the brunette's phone rang. "Is church cancelled?" she greets.

"You can't cancel church," Spencer replies. "And where's my hello?"

"Hello," she drawls slightly. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were awake. My mom's in a crazy good mood. I have no idea why. She was singing."

Ashley pictures that and shudders. "That's…kind of scary, Spencer. You think her and Reverend what's-his-name have planned something?"

"She doesn't know you're going to be there."

Ashley wants to say "Maybe she got laid" but holds back, knowing Spencer doesn't need to hear her talking like that about her mother. "Then I look forward to the cross I'll get shoved in my face and the holy water she's going to douse me with."

Across town in her bedroom, Spencer laughs, imagining the face Ashley is pulling. "I won't let her. Just be there in fifteen, okay? We're leaving now."

"Now as in right now?"

"Now as in when I've hung up."

"You're going to hang up on me? Spencer, I'm hurt."

Smiling, Spencer replies, "I'm sorry, Dad's shouting, I have to hang up."

"You don't _have_ to," Ashley replies, descending the staircase. "You could stay on the line with me."

After a playful argument, Spencer repeats an apology before hanging up and turning around to see her mother standing in the doorway, obviously upset with her.

* * *

The brunette's stomach is in knots as she stands awkwardly at the door of the church, almost afraid to enter and getting a brief image of her hand making contact with the handle only to be thrown back in the street, girls like her not allowed.

"Fucking Paula," she mutters.

She'd sped to the church and now wondered why she'd done it. Spencer's house was further away and when she was nervous the girl always made her feel better without even opening her mouth.

Two frail looking ladies climb the few steps to get to the heavy door and Ashley—being bored— holds it open for them, getting two "thank you dear's" in response.

Five minutes later, she spots Arthur's car approaching and almost bursts through the church door before Paula sees her, suddenly a lot more nervous than she thought she would be. With the nice, big door closed behind her, she looks down to her outfit and wonders if she should have put a skirt longer than knee length on.

And then she wondered if she even had one.

The door is pulled open and the harsh light pours through the gap inside the cool-aired grand building. Spencer enters alone and scans around immediately for Ashley.

"Looking for me?" Ashley asks.

Turning to the side, she meets the brunette's eyes. "I saw you run in here."

"I didn't run. I walked briskly."

"You saw my mother and ran. Totally understandable."

Ashley sighs at having been caught. "Her eyes flashed red."

Smiling, her eyes travel the length of Ashley's body. Twice. "You look, uh…."

"I should have worn jeans, I know. Sorry." She shakes her head briefly.

"No," Spencer responds firmly. "You look really, really nice."

Her eyebrows raise. "Nice? That all?"

"All I can say in the house of God."

"Then I say "thank you"," she replies with a satisfied smirk on her face.

The blonde raises an eyebrow, trying to hide a smile. "Thank you? That all?"

"All I can say in the house of God."

Ashley's smile is wiped clear off her face as soon as she hears the loud creak, signalling the door opening. Refusing to grab onto her girlfriend's arm in fear, she takes off down the side aisle, not wanting to run into Paula just yet.

"I'll be damned," Arthur murmurs, catching sight of the brunette as she slides almost inconspicuously onto an uncomfortable pew. "Ashley!"

Gritting her teeth and cracking her neck, Ashley removes the sunglasses she just put over her eyes and sets them atop her head before turning around to face the Carlin family, Mother Superior included. "Hey, Mr C. I didn't know you'd be here," she says as strongly as she can manage. She hates that Paula hasn't and still refuses to accept her. Though, she understands partly. A very small part. Miniscule, almost.

Glen smirks. "Davies, who knew they'd let you in?!" he yells across the church unnecessarily as it echoes. Only two old woman occupying the seats. The Carlin family always arrived early.

His teasing comment eases some of her apprehension and she smiles. "Same to you, jockstrap."

Hearing that causes Paula's eyes to narrow in Ashley's direction. Spencer, seeing this, smiles to Ashley in reassurance. "Hey, Ash. Didn't think I'd see you here."

"Well what are we all standing here for?" Arthur cuts in before the brunette can reply. "Let's sit, let's sit."

Unintentionally pushing past her mother, Spencer makes a beeline for the pew her girlfriend is sitting on. "Ignore her," she whispers as she slides next to her.

Glancing over Spencer's shoulder to where Paula is speeding toward them, she swallows thickly. "You said she was in a good mood."

"She is."

"…Oh." The brunette laughs. "Well I can't wait for her bad mood, Spence. I really, really can't."

Knowing their hands are shielded, at least for the moment, the blonde quickly covers Ashley's hand with her own, rubbing her thumb across soft skin. "Relax. You haven't done anything wrong, okay?"

"I know but her eyes are demoni-"

"Nothing," she insists. "You're here because I asked you to be and if we weren't in front of my family, I'd kiss you right now."

"Excuse us," Paula says loudly, sitting down on a pew a few rows behind, not wanting to be near the brunette. "We'd like some peace and quiet."

Knowing there's no way she could have heard Spencer's hushed voice, Ashley lowers hers even more. "She's kidding, right?"

Arthur being as clueless as he is—and with a dopey smile on his face—slides in next to his wife and smiles, reaching for her hand. Clay and Glen follow suit and Glen immediately pulls out his mp3 player. Church bores him.

* * *

Thirty minutes into the service Ashley squirms uncomfortably on her seat. They weren't even padded and she could almost feel two holes burned in the back of her head from the hateful glare she was positive her girlfriend's mother was sending her way.

"Sit still," Spencer whispers.

"I would if I wasn't being ass-raped." She moves to sit on one side of her numb butt. "I'm fucking uncomfortable."

"Don't say that in here."

"Sorry." She sighs, rubbing the back of her head. "I think your mother is using her Clark Kent heat vision in the back of my head. Is my hair singed?"

Spencer looks around—like an idiot—to the back of her head. "Don't be so silly," she whispers, catching a glimpse of her mother who was indeed watching Ashley like a hawk.

"I don't even have a vial of holy water in my purse in case she attacks."

"Just…listen, Ash," Spencer replies, not wanting her to concentrate on her mother.

At the front of the church Father Robinson stood and his voice droned in Ashley's ears.

"As you join, acknowledging your faith in Jesus, come with your wounds and your confusion. Come to your brother, Jesus, whose body was whipped and bruised so that you might be healed. With your doubts and struggles, come to the one who has scars -"

Ashley tuned him out, concentrating on the girl who's thigh was brushing against hers and attempts to have only _pure_ thoughts in a place like this. "Spencer," she whispers, moving her hand over to link pinkie's.

"What?" she whispers back.

The brunette tried not think of the activities they'd spent the better part of the day perfecting and in doing so, inevitably remembered in vivid detail the guttural moan that was torn from the blonde's throat as she climaxed for the third time, contracting around her fingers and pulsing in her mouth.

"What?" she repeated.

Ashley clears her throat and moves her leg and hand away. Not wanting to cause a scene that would probably make the newspapers. "Nothing, sorry."

Father Robinson's voice carried through the large church. "Do you take time to slow down enough, to become quiet enough, to listen to the restlessness of your heart? Do you hear the incompleteness within? Do you experience that desire - there must be more? This is not a desire that we experience when our minds and hearts are overwhelmed with stimuli, and I'm not talking about a desire that happens when life goes wrong. Rather, it is a desire that becomes louder as we become quieter."

"Every once in a while, this desire makes its voice heard, we are surprised at how powerful, and how interestingly this desire, this longing can be. For example, I suspect many of us have noticed this. We move away from home and we so look forward to rekindling old relationships, reliving those memories, remembering together, as we picture it in our mind, this trip back will be "heavenly." But then we go on the trip, we arrive 'home' only to discover that home is no longer home, the hole that our departure left has filled, the people as we remember them have changed, and the truth is, we have changed."

Switching to sit on her other cheek, Ashley winces, wondering when she could go home and perhaps sit on a cushion. She kind of likes the sermon but has to disagree with the desire for something more. She doesn't need Jesus or God, she just needed Spencer.

As if hearing her thoughts, Paula sighs loud enough for Ashley to hear and she resists the urge to sink lower into her seat, but Spencer was right, she wasn't doing anything wrong.

* * *

People slowly exit from the church and the blonde stands, talking to an old woman who had stopped her and informed her that she looked so much like her grand-daughter who had moved to Colorado the month before.

Saying her goodbye's, she leaves as Spencer politely opens the door for her and tells her to take care.

Looking around, she spots Clay and Glen still sitting on a pew, Clay reading and Glen with his head back, sleeping. Paula is talking with Arthur and some of their friends while her mother frequently looks in Ashley's direction who's talking with Father Robinson.

Walking closer, she hears the brunette's sentence.

"You do exorcisms, right? Because my _very_ close friend's mother -"

"Really enjoyed your sermon today, Father," Spencer interrupts, widening her eyes to the brunette. "It was beautiful." She smiles for good measure.

He turns to the blonde and chuckles politely. "Your mother is very gracious."

Ashley snorts beside him and drops the smile when he turns to face her. She covers her mouth and coughs, thumping her chest lightly. "Excuse me. Somethin' went down the wrong way."

He nods, smile still intact before he re-faces Spencer.

"Bullshit" Ashley mouths behind his back to Spencer, smiling as she watches her attempt to stay composed.

"How did you find the service today, Miss Carlin?" he asks her.

"I love all your services, Father."

Behind him, Ashley laughs loudly. Spencer could have worded that so much better.

As he turns to face her once more, the blonde steps to the right of him so she's in Ashley's line of sight and leans her head on the side, hardening her stare even though she was mortified with what she'd said.

"What's the joke?" he asks nicely, a little amused.

"Uh. Two nuns have ordered paint -"

"Excuse me." Spencer tugs on his arm and searches for a different topic. "How do you come up with your sermons each week?"

"Well…" his voice fades away as the blonde stares at her girlfriend, shaking her head. "Stop it" she mouths.

Exasperated and slightly amused, Ashley throws her head back toward the ceiling and looks forward to when they can be alone.


	9. Mutual Understanding

**AN: Okay, so we've reached the end of another story. Thank you to everyone who's read and enjoyed this, but more importantly, thank you to everyone who reviewed. I thrive off feedback. I'll get around to posting another one soon :]**

**DeadWitchReading - **Haha, good. Will the next one be darker? Not really :P. At least, for the most part it isn't. Not a refusal exactly, I might just wait till I get more of a chance to sit down and sift through it, but it definitely won't be before Christmas, either way. I have other stories to post to keep you (hopefully) entertained :) Internal bleeding? *rushes to post the chapter* Enjoy church :P

**ashnspence4eva -** Glad you think so!

**NotxxWhatxxItxxSeems -** Thank you :D. You can quit school when you're the next Einstein. Aww, really? Well that just makes my day, so thanks ^_^.

**Sexyluv07 -** Thanks. It is an actual joke but I cant remember where I heard it, sorry.

**RUlov3r -** Hope your jaw feels better :P

**kaila5707 -** Yeah, she was a little cute :D. Thanks. Glad you liked Lyssa. She's a pretty good friend.

**jazziejazz94 -** Glad you liked the update. Hope you like this one, too.

**xxMaNdYxx -** I still stand by my "Thank you very much" :D

* * *

Ashley lay on her side with her head propped up on her hand as she watched Spencer sleep. Her bedroom door was locked in case the other two occupants of her house felt like bursting through the door without knocking, she knew Spencer would be embarrassed if that happened. Their clothes were strewn across the floor of her bedroom.

She'd been watching her for almost an hour and finally reaches her hand out and moves Spencer's hair behind her ears, smiling at the memory of the pink-ness that coated her cheeks when she'd just fallen asleep. They'd spent over three hours in bed and after a lingering, loving kiss, the blonde completely conked out.

Her fingers brush over her skin and she revels in the soft sensation for the countless time. Her fingers still when she sees and much as feels Spencer stirring, leaning into her touch before moving off her back and turning over quickly.

Being so close together, her lips awkwardly press against Ashley's and the brunette smiles before kissing her softly. "Tell me you're not asleep," she whispers after pulling away from the blonde's unresponsive lips.

Spencer smiles and Ashley's own smile widens further; loving to make her smile. "Tired," she whispers out with her eyes closed.

"No you're not," she attempts to challenge her. "Come on, wake up."

"Am awake."

"Your eyes are closed and that's your sleepy voice, you're going to fall back asleep."

"'M'not," she slurs out.

"You've been asleep for hours," she lies. "I went out and got my nipple pierced when you were snoring."

A slow, sleepy smile appears on the blondes face before opening her eyes, staring into pools of brown before she carefully lifts the sheet up to expose Ashley's chest. "You're so full of excretion," she mumbles before turning back over.

Smiling in amusement, Ashley moves closer and slips an arm around Spencer's waist. "Who the hell says that?"

"Me."

"You could just say shit like everyone else."

"You say enough of that for both of us," the blonde replies, moving back into the warm body behind her.

"Don't go back to sleep," Ashley complains as she presses warm kisses to Spencer's exposed shoulder. "I'll miss your whiney voice."

Spencer makes a quiet sound of acknowledgment and smiles knowing that Ashley can't see her. She had no intention of falling back asleep but it was always one of her most sacred times, enjoying the warmth of the brunette's body as they lay pressed together, naked. She loved pretending she was asleep when she knew Ashley was watching her. She loved feeling the other girls heart beat faster just by looking at her.

"Want me to tell you a joke?" the brunette asks, wanting to keep the other girl awake.

Staying silent, the blonde attempts not to smile as she hears Ashley sigh lightly.

"Want me to prank call your mother again?"

Losing the battle, Spencer smiles freely. As juvenile as it was, Ashley was so funny impersonating The Joker. She could clearly imagine her mother's scowl as Ashley drawled "Why so serious?" across the phone line.

"Spencer," Ashley whispered dramatically.

"I'm awake," the blonde finally replied, pulling Ashley's arm further around her.

"So you _do_ want me to prank call Paula."

"She knows it was you last time, you know," Spencer replies with a small laugh.

"She does not. I'm the master of stealth."

Grabbing the brunette's hand before it meets her centre, she rolls her eyes. "Sure you are."

Not bothering to reply, Ashley moves back and pushes on the other girl's shoulder, forcing her onto her back and quickly lays her head on her shoulder with an arm draped around her stomach and her leg resting between hers.

It had been over a month since she'd first lain like this with Spencer and everything was still new and fresh. She still got goose bumps when she felt Spencer unconsciously pulling her closer during the night, and each time they kissed or touched intimately she thought for sure the intensity was going to be the end of her.

Ashley presses a wet kiss to the swell of a breast. "Tell me what you're thinking," she requests quietly.

"Dirty thoughts."

Smiling against her skin, Ashley kisses her once more.

"What are you thinking?" the blonde inquires gently. It was always quiet after they'd had sex and neither could recall a time where it had ever been uncomfortable.

"I'm wondering what to pack."

"Pack? For what?" She didn't remember Ashley mentioning a vacation.

"Your entire family is coming to visit tomorrow," she reminds her.

"Yes. Your point?"

My point? Ashley thinks. Her point was that she didn't want to be impaled by Spencer's farmer relatives with a pitchfork and have them stand over her dying body with their dirty and baggy dungarees, laughing. She imagined them chewing hay. "That I'm very much fine with being alive these days?"

"You did great in church last week, Ash. Trust me, if you can handle my mother you can handle anything."

"Your mother is one person. Your family is like…your family."

"Uh, sure?"

Despite her concern, the brunette smiles. "I just mean Paula is intimidating enough and with your aunt, uncle, cousins, and grandmother there, I'll be a little out-numbered when it comes to a verbal sparring match and be a target when the mashed potatoes go flying."

Spencer pulls the smaller girl's body firmer against her own and attempts not to sigh. She hates that the usually confident -almost to the point of obnoxious- Ashley is still troubled by her mother and is clearly concerned about her family visiting for the weekend. She imagines Ashley to have a terribly wrong stereotypical picture of them in her head.

"They don't know anything yet, but I'm telling them tomorrow. All you're going to have to do is get through one night, Ash. One night to show them how beautiful, sweet, and wonderful you are, and it'll be over."

"You forgot to say sexy."

At that, Spencer smiles softly. "They'll see that as soon as they take one look at you."

"I was planning a trip to Vegas, you know," Ashley says as her fingers trace circles over the smooth skin just underneath the blonde's breasts. "You could come with and help me spend obscene amounts of money."

"You know I'd never be able to do that."

"Quit spoiling all my fun, _Spencer_."

Spencer's fingers gently rifle through the brunette's hair. "You have my sincerest apologies," she says lightly with her eyes closed as she enjoys their bodies so close together.

"Good, I deserve them," she replies, her eyes also closed. "I'm still going to Vegas."

"I'll save you some brownies then, I guess."

"I expect nothing less."

Five minutes later when Ashley's eyelids are growing progressively heavier and she feels the pull of sleep luring her in, she not-so-seriously curses how comfortable and warm Spencer's body is, she has errands she should be running.

"Ash?" Spencer whispers, knowing her girlfriend is close to slipping into her dreams.

"Mmm?"

"You're coming to dinner tomorrow, right?"

The brunette smiles. "Yeah, Spence."

* * *

Hours later, Spencer shuts off the bathroom light and makes the relatively short trip back to her bedroom, yawning as she climbs back into her bed and pulls the covers back up her body and settles down. She'd held Ashley for an hour while she'd slept and then reluctantly woke her to say that it was time for her to go. With her family visiting for the weekend, Paula Carlin has told her that she had to get all of her assignments out of the way to ensure her spending maximum time with the people who loved her dearly.

The plus side to that was she could use that as a reason to spend her time with Ashley. She loved her family but ever since she was a teenager and excluding her cousin Kate, there was some kind of a wall blocking them from connecting. They could hang out and have fun but sometimes she wouldn't be entirely comfortable, though she knew that was partly her own fault.

Picking up her phone from her bedside table, she scrolls through her list and frowns when she doesn't see Ashley's name. She'd changed it from 'Dave' weeks ago. Continuing on, she finds "Hot girlfriend" and smiles as she presses the call button. Ashley had told her during lunch that she'd made a change to her contact name in her phone but she'd forgotten all about it during the course of the day and hadn't checked.

The phone rings three times before it's answered. "Worry. Why do I let myself worry? Wond'rin', what in the world did I do?" the brunette sings softly.

Genuinely lost as to what song she's singing, Spencer frowns lightly. "What is that?"

"Patsy Cline," Ashley answers with disgust etched in her tone as she removes the remaining earplug.

Knowing there's not another genre of music Ashley detests more than country, she smiles. "You're an idiot. Why are you listening to it if you don't like it?"

"Figured I'd memorise a few songs for tomorrow when the banjo is inevitably pulled out."

"Hell will freeze over before that happens, Ashley."

Ashley shrugs and stretches her legs across her large bed to the space the blonde had occupied hours before. "One can never be too sure. Should I bring a Willie Nelson CD or Johnny Cash?"

Spencer smiles. "Bring nothing, you goofball."

"Just the hot bod'?"

"Just the hot bod'," Spencer clarifies.

Miles away, Ashley is smiling. "What are you wearing?" she asks seductively.

"Flannel pyjamas my grandma got me for Christmas," the blonde replies innocently.

Not at all put off by her response, Ashley smirks. "Take them off."

Spencer chuckles at her. "How about, no?"

"How about, yes?"

"How about you tell me what you're wearing?"

"Uh, nothing?" Ashley responds as if the fact was entirely obvious.

"Really?"

"Yep." The brunette sighs and moves over to the other pillow, smelling the scent of Spencer's shampoo. "Naked and alone in this bed big enough for ten, fit for a goddess and her goddess."

Spencer pulls the phone away from her ear to take a quick glance at the time and seriously considers going over to Ashley's and driving back before her mother awakens in the morning, but she knows she'd suffer for it tomorrow. She had a long day at school and knew she'd come home to Paula cleaning the house like a forensic team were due to arrive and demand help.

"Naked," Ashley emphasises at the other girl's silence.

"I heard you," she responds, smiling.

"So."

"So, what?" Spencer asks warmly.

"_So_, are you losing the teddy pyjamas anytime soon?"

"Yes, I'm entirely naked."

"Really?" she asks in a sultry tone.

"Under the pyjamas, absolutely."

"Spencer Carlin, you tease."

Spencer makes sure her laugh is quiet as to not wake her mother. "What? Like you're _still_ naked."

"I didn't say I was still naked, I said I was naked. Huge difference."

"Oh yeah, huge difference."

Not missing her sarcastic tone, Ashley smiles. "There is. I threw on some clothes to meet the pizza guy at the door and then I lost them again."

"With the pizza guy?" Spencer teases.

"Yeah."

"Was he _good_?"

"Best I've ever had," the brunette responds with a lazy smile. She loves hearing Spencer's voice in the dark. "So, not that I mind at all, but why are you calling so late?"

It was past midnight and she knew of Spencer's sleeping habits.

"I wanted to hear your voice and I didn't think you'd be sleeping."

"Well, you'd be right."

"What were you doing?" the blonde asks, not believing Ashley's earlier explanation.

For an entire hour Ashley had been listening to popular or 'classic' country music she'd reluctantly downloaded onto her iPod and felt her ears almost bleed by the third song. She truly wanted to be prepared, fully expecting a banjo to be present over the next couple of days.

"I told you, listening to bad music so I can keep up with your family jamming with the banjo."

Spencer raises her eyebrows and shakes her head. "You're a moron."

Ashley chuckles. "And this music is fucking terrible."

"You know, for a lovely girl you've got a very dirty mouth."

"You should consider getting your own lines," she answers, smiling nonetheless. "And then you should consider keeping a lid on those dirty words that leave your mouth when I'm -"

"Okay," Spencer interrupts, her face warmer. She can never control herself when Ashley is making love to her and she's somehow even more vocal when they're fucking.

Knowing Spencer is more than likely blushing, Ashley's smile stays on her face as she imagines it. The line stays quiet for long, comfortable seconds and Ashley knows Spencer will regret being awake this late tomorrow. "You know that three-word phrase people say sometimes before someone leaves?"

"Be right back?"

"Uh…no."

"Take care, bye?"

"Spencer."

Spencer smiles. "What about the three word phrase?"

"I was just thinking you could say it. You know, to me. Because I'm amazing in bed."

"I've had better?"

"I'm hanging up now," Ashley replies, feigning hurt.

Spencer's smile slowly fades and she thinks about the other girl and feels her chest almost ache with emotion. "I love you."

Not at all embarrassed with how her heart is now beating fierce and slow, Ashley smiles softly, contentedly. "Me too," she says quietly.

"Me too, what?" She wanted to hear her say it. They rarely said the actual words to each other though their every action clearly showed it.

"I love you, too."

Two months ago Spencer would have never guessed they'd be talking again without spitting out angry words and harsh truths, yet here they were speaking quiet declarations of love across the phone. She couldn't ever forgive herself for how she'd acted in the past but she knew in Ashley's eyes she'd made it up for it the moment she stood up for herself and who she was to her mother.

If she was honest with herself, a big reason she'd insisted Ashley join them for dinner tomorrow night was that her family _were_ incredibly religious and though she'd have the support of her brother's and father, there was nothing quite like the comforting presence of Ashley. She didn't know what strength she gave her without uttering a single word.

* * *

Spencer takes one last look at Ashley before she enters the house and smiles as the other girl grins stupidly.

"I'm crossing everything that can be crossed!" Ashley yells to her.

They were forty-five minutes late due to an accident that had traffic backed up for miles.

She doesn't respond verbally, choosing to keep the smile on her face instead. With one last wave, she enters the house and the strong scent of disinfectant and bleach hits her senses as she spots her mother donning a pair of yellow rubber gloves on her way back to the kitchen.

"You're late," Paula says to her youngest child as she follows her. "You know what time they're due to arrive and yet, you're still late."

"There was an accident," she responds softly.

At this Paula's head snaps up and she stops scrubbing the counter tops. "Are you all right?"

Spencer opens her mouth to respond in an automatic response and pauses, noticing her mother's concern. It was the first she'd seen in a long time. "I'm fine, it was just backed up traffic, you know how it is."

Placated by her response, the older woman begins cleaning again. "Get changed, I need your help with this. God knows where the men in this family are."

It was an unspoken rule that as soon as family were visiting, the males of the house vacated the house to leave Paula to it and abandoned Spencer in her hour of need. She hated being the one left to reek of bleach even after a hot shower and she hated how stressed her mother got when relatives were to due arrive. It wasn't as if they were going to go around the house with a black-light.

Spencer nods softly, not liking that she has to help but fully expecting it and would probably help even if she wasn't asked. It wasn't fair that her mother do everything, regardless of whether it was actually necessary.

* * *

Running a hand through her blonde tresses, Spencer sighs as she smells the faint scent of disinfectant on her hands even after a shower that was almost cold it was so hot. She could smell dinner cooking and she couldn't wait to eat, she was starving.

"Spencer, are you almost ready? They're going to be here any second, what could possibly be taking so long?!" her mother yells from the bottom of the stairs.

"Two minutes!" she yells back, not bothering to respond to the second question. You didn't look as good as Spencer without spending a little time in front of a mirror and she wasn't done listening to a song.

She turns it up so loud she can barely hear herself sing and laughs quietly when she faintly hears another screech coming from her mother. Putting in her earrings, she notices her phone vibrating across the surface of her dresser and retrieves it, instantly smiling as it's a text from Ashley. She's on her way.

With one last glance to the mirror and a few sprays of perfume, the blonde leaves her room and hurries down the stairs, almost running straight into Paula who is carrying a tray with champagne filled glasses.

"Mom?"

"What is it, Spencer?" Paula asks softly with a concerned furrow of her brows, though not over her daughter. The candles on the dining room table weren't equal space apart. They'd have to be moved. "And why doesn't anybody do a job properly in this house?!"

Smiling, Spencer steps forward and pulls a glass off the tray. "Put that down," she says, gesturing toward the tray. Not thinking twice, her mother obliges and sets the tray down on a free space of the table. "Now, drink this and relax before you send yourself to an early grave."

Within seconds the glass is empty and Spencer smiles proudly. "Who knew you were such a pro?" she teases as she walks past, lightly kicking her butt. "I'm impressed."

Paula smiles genuinely for a second, mirroring her daughter's ease and happiness until she realises that this is the first time they've had fun and been civil in she can't remember how long. She opens her mouth to speak when Glen bursts into the room wearing the same shirt he's had on for three days.

"Glen, I didn't raise you to be a slob. Get and change."

The teenager sniffs his armpits. "I'm still fresh."

"It wasn't a question, Glen. Change, now."

"But nothing is ironed."

"Then get and iron something!" she yells, feeling her blood pressure sky-rocket.

"Honey," Arthur says gently from the kitchen. "They're five minutes away."

Paula chuckles. "They're five minutes away," she repeats as the smile drops from her face. "They're five goddamn minutes away and nothing is finished!" she yells and within seconds each member of the family is rushing around to put the finishing touches on the place, per Paula's demand.

True to their word her family arrive in their rented cars five minutes later and Spencer stays inside the house, rolling her eyes as she hears the commotion outside as her family all hug and cry.

"Oh, wow," Glen chuckles out wearing the shirt his mother had ironed in record time and threw in his general direction as he finished buffing up the silverware. "Jimmy lost all his weight."

Spencer smiles and turns around on the sofa, her knees touching the back of it as she looks out the window, marvelling over how her cousin has lost weight. "He looks great," she agrees. "And Kate finally grew boobs."

Glen joins her and scoffs as he spots Clay grabbing suitcases from the trunk, his face contorted and his muscles bulging. It was a known fact their Aunt Sophia packed like no-one else they'd ever encountered. "What a moron."

Spencer slaps him lightly on the arm. "Don't talk about him like that."

He tugs back on her hair and she screams before thumping him hard on the chest.

"I just meant leave the heavy-work to the real men!" he screeches in defence as he quickly dodges another sharp slap from his sister. He hated being slapped. Why couldn't women hit like men?

As he leaves the house Spencer watches out the window and smiles at how Glen can barely lift the case off the ground and throws an annoyed glare in Clay's direction who is managing to hold two cases without falling over.

Thinking about what she's going to tell them soon, her heart speeds up in anticipation and apprehension. She doesn't think they're going to take it too well.

"What's up, cous?" Kate says behind her and smiles when she sees the other girl jump in surprise.

"You scared the crap out of me," Spencer admits with a chuckle, quickly moving off the couch to give her favourite cousin a hug.

"You always were afraid of your own shadow, weren't you?" the younger girl asks teasingly with her arms wrapped around her.

"And you were always an ass," she answers, holding her tighter. "I missed you."

"I've missed you, too. Ohio really isn't the same without you."

"Really?"

"Really," she replies, smelling the other girl's perfume. "I can actually breathe without _tasting_ your perfume. God, do you still take a bath in it?"

Spencer pushes out of the embrace and lightly pushes on her shoulder. "Shut up."

"Got a hot date coming tonight, or something?" she teases.

Opening her mouth to reply, the blonde is cut off by a screech from her mother about helping with the bags. She moves to help and is stopped by a hand on her wrist. "This isn't a hotel. My dad can get everything."

Knowing Paula would more than likely mention it again, she shakes her head. "It's okay, I don't mind."

Kate scoffs. "Hey, aunt Paula!"

"Yes, Kate?"

"Spencer broke both her hands!"

Hearing that, Kate's father shakes his head. "The bags are under control, Paula."

* * *

The house was loud with multiple conversations and stories of the trip over, which included the attractive guy sitting next to Kate throwing up as the plane sped up on the runway and finally left the ground.

Caught up in three different conversations between her grandmother, her cousin, and uncle, Spencer fails to hear the doorbell and Paula sighs as she searches for more champagne, needing the burn of alcohol in her stomach. On her way to the door she finds Glen sneaking up the stairs with two unopened bottles of champagne.

"Leave one on the stairs, Glen!" she shouts.

Momentarily stunned by his mother's presence, he grins. "Sweet!" He leaves one on the corner of the stairs and runs back down stairs to guzzle the alcohol in front of his cousins as if he were a _real_ man.

Paula smiles at his silly behaviour and quickly grabs the free bottle before making her way to the door, pulling it open quickly.

Ashley steps back a step in shock, fully expecting Spencer to be the one to greet her at the door instead of her evil mother who undoubtedly wanted to send her to the other side of the world -- if she was lucky.

"Uh, hey, Mrs C."

Paula takes a quick glance over her outfit and silently commends her for dressing appropriately. Without a word, she opens the door wider and Ashley nervously walks past her, fully expecting her to trip her up.

The brunette stands awkwardly in the foyer as the older woman closes the door and she gestures to the bottle in her hands. "That for me?"

"No."

Ashley exhales softly, averting her eyes nervously.

Noticing this, the older woman sighs. "But if you can find a clean glass…" she trails off. She still didn't like her but she had never seen Spencer happier than in the past month or so and she knew it was because of the girl in front of her.

Stunned by the offer, Ashley weakly shakes her head. "Thanks, but Spence wants me to take her to get ice cream later," she explains. She'd never chance anything with her in the car.

"Spencer's just through there," Paula says gesturing to the full living room. "I doubt you'll find a space to sit, though," she says indifferently.

Nodding, the brunette waits for her to walk away before she takes a deep breath. She'd never met Spencer's family. Before Spencer she'd never even met any of her girlfriends' parents or family and this was new and scary for her, though she'd do anything Spencer asked her to.

She slowly enters the room and Jimmy chokes on his drink as he spots her. She was the hottest girl he'd ever seen. Raising an amused brow, Spence turns to see what caused his reaction and shoots up from her seat. "I'm so sorry, I didn't hear the bell."

Ashley shrugs, brushing it off as nothing. "It's cool. So, uh…" she trails off, her eyes darting around the room before she raises her eyebrows to Spencer, hinting for her to introduce her to everyone.

Lost in how incredible the brunette looks tonight, Spencer fails to take the hint.

Five pairs of curious eyes settle on Ashley and she offers them a smile before widening her eyes to Spencer as she moves away from her. "Hey, it's nice to meet you all," she says in what she hopes is her polite voice. "I'm Ashley."

Noticing the look Spencer is giving the other girl, Kate laughs into her glass. Spencer had some explaining to do.

"Hey."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"Hello."

"Oh, god," all come at almost the same time, the last response from a still dazed Jimmy.

Ashley smiles at his reaction, so used to it from men and women now that it wasn't even funny.

Snapping out of it, Spencer shakes her head and introduces her to everyone properly.

* * *

Spencer had been cornered with twenty questions from her cousin as soon as she'd left the room to use the bathroom and reluctantly admitted that Ashley wasn't just a friend, which lead to her cousin, younger by four months, to wrap her arms around her and jump up and down excitedly, screaming "I fucking knew it, you big homo!"

She smiles at the memory as they all sit down for dinner and Kate wiggles her eyebrows as Ashley takes the place next to Spencer. "Shut your mouth," the blonde chuckles out, gaining the attention of everybody else at the table.

The green-eyed girl laughs outright. "I didn't say a word!"

"A word about what?" Spencer's grandmother asks.

Suddenly not finding it amusing anymore, Spencer clears her throat. "Nothing, grandma," she replies softly.

The eldest woman frowns at the look Ashley gives Spencer, however brief it was. "So, tell me something about yourself," she says to the brunette.

There wasn't a question Ashley hated more than that. She never knew how to respond without sounding boring.

Seeing her apprehension, Glen smiles to her before facing his grandmother. "Hey grandma, your teeth are slipping."

Quickly excusing herself before the food is served, she excuses herself from the table to check her teeth.

"I like you when you're not an ass," Ashley says.

Glen smirks before raising the bottle of champagne and guzzling down a few mouthfuls. "I'm a man now. I grew up."

"And yet you're drinking champagne," she responds with a teasing glint in her eyes. "Shouldn't you be drinking a beer?"

He appears confused and moments later springs up from the table to grab a beer from the overstocked fridge, instead.

* * *

Ashley concentrates on her food as the entire table buzzes with conversation and stories. Though she's listening intently for any stories of Spencer, she's a little uncomfortable with how Paula and her mother are throwing her looks of disdain. Minutes prior she'd stolen a baby carrot off Spencer's plate and smiled at her adoringly when she pouted, causing each older woman to frown. Though, both for different reasons.

She glanced up and saw the eldest woman giving her such a spiteful look that she shifted her foot, wondering if it was turning to stone.

Turning to her, Spencer asks, "Everything okay?" subtly.

She smiles in reassurance. She didn't want Spencer thinking she was uncomfortable with the people she loved the most. "I'm great."

The blonde studies her for a moment. "You're uncomfortable."

"I'm fine."

"You have a weird look on your face."

"Well, I'm digesting."

Sighing in concern, Spencer looks around the table and spots the reason the older girl is uncomfortable. Her mother and grandmother each looking in their direction, the rest busy eating. "What?" she demands.

"Excuse me?" her mother answers.

"Why are you both looking over here like that?"

Mortified, Ashley nudges Spencer. "Leave it, Spence."

The blonde shakes her head. She'd never seen her grandmother look at someone in such a way before and it disgusted her. Ashley hadn't done anything wrong, she'd been polite and engaging in conversation and she wasn't smacking her mouth with every bite of food unlike her oldest brother. Sure, she'd refused to say grace at dinner, but in her defence Paula did _ask_ if she wanted to. "No, I won't."

"Honey, sit your ass back down," her uncle Tony complains. Women and their drama. Who wants to talk when a good meal is in front of them?

"Don't talk to her like that," her aunt Sophia defends her, smacking her husband on the chest.

"Oh god, just shut the hell up," Jimmy blurts out.

Ashley face palms, horrified with the situation and Kate smirks, thoroughly amused. "Now _this_ is a family reunion."

"I'm not standing up," Spencer finally responds.

"What was the movie on the plane?" Clay asks, wanting to change the conversation.

"Spencer, calm down," Paula says firmly. There wasn't going to be a scene at this dinner. Not on her watch. "The food is going cold."

"I don't care," she responds softly. She takes another look in her grandmother's direction and frowns. She was still looking at Ashley like something she'd trodden on. With her heart beating faster from adrenalin, she takes a deep breath and pushes her plate back.

Seeing the action, Ashley curses silently. "Spencer, seriously, let it go. Don't do this now." She didn't want to be the cause of such a scene and frankly, her girlfriend's grandmother was the scariest woman she'd ever encountered. Paula had nothing on her. God knows what would become of her if Spencer told her that they were dating.

Spencer turns to her and keeps her voice quiet, "I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of being with you."

"Yeah, I know but -"

"Spencer," her mother says, louder this time. "I won't tell you again."

The blonde turns to her family and holds Ashley's hand underneath the table. "I have something to say."

Kate smirks from the bottom of the table and puts down her cutlery before taking a long sip of her drink in anticipation.

Paula stands. "Spencer, help me with something in the kitchen."

Ashley swallows nervously and doesn't know which direction to turn, each filled with curious glances to what Spencer could possibly have to say. She settles for the dollop of mashed potatoes on her plate.

"This may or may not come as a huge shock to you, but I'm -"

"Do you hear a phone ringing?" Ashley blurts out. "I think I do. Spencer, in fact, I think it's yours. In your bedroom. Go answer it."

Finally noticing how reluctant the brunette seems to be with her family finding out the truth, Paula stays quiet, observing her.

"I'm a lesbian," Spencer finishes, her voice shaking ever so slightly. "Ashley is my girlfriend."

Ashley closes her eyes briefly, shaking her head. "Subtle."

Paula and Spencer's hearts are thumping in their chests and though neither would ever admit it, 'Holy shit' is the only thought running through their minds at the moment.

Tony, Sophia, and Jimmy sit in shock while the eldest woman drops her cutlery to her plate, a look of pure disgust and disappointment on her face. She turns to her daughter. "How could you let this happen?"

Opening her mouth to respond, Paula is cut off by her daughter. "She didn't _let_ anything happen, Grandma. Don't think about blaming her, it's nobody's fault. I was born this way."

"Nobody is born that way!" she yells.

"Fuck," Ashley mutters quietly.

"Elizabeth," Arthur murmurs to his mother-in-law. "There's no need for raised voices, we can talk about this like adults: calmly."

Shaking her head negatively, Elizabeth dismisses that. "You," she says harshly to Ashley. "What did you do to my granddaughter?"

Ashley opens her mouth to respond and for the second time, Spencer jumps to her defence. "Don't talk to her like that, Grandma."

"Am I supposed to give her a pat on the back?!" she yells in response. "You're disgusting! Both of you!"

The brunette resists the urge to sigh. She'd has that said to her more times than she could count but she knew Spencer hadn't and she sees her beginning to get upset. She reaches her arm across and rubs her back supportively. "I don't think you should be talking to your granddaughter like that," she says softly.

"I haven't changed," Spencer insists, feeling herself get upset. Ashley was probably right, she didn't think it through enough.

"I don't even know who you are!"

"She's your family," the brunette answers for her, still keeping calm.

"And you're nobody! You're filth, absolute filth!"

"No, I'm not."

"You're going to burn in hell, young lady."

"Jeez, Grandma. What's up your ass?" Glen asks. "Leave her alone."

"Don't you talk to me like that!" she hisses before facing the brunette. "They should shoot people like you."

Ashley clenches her teeth together, fighting back a disrespectful reply and instead chooses to keep rubbing soothing circles on the blondes back.

The table erupts into a loud argument and as the tears spill from Spencer's eyes, Ashley wipes each one away. "Don't cry," she whispers into her ear.

Paula watches them interact and doesn't fail to notice how easily the brunette is calming her daughter down or that despite her mother yelling at her and talking to her terribly, she never once yelled back or responded disrespectfully, instead sticking up for her daughter.

"This is your fault, Paula!" Elizabeth yells to her daughter.

Paula fails not to wince under her mother's tone and feels her husband hold her hand in support. "Yelling and placing blame is not the way to discuss this," he says calmly.

"Oh god," Tony says finally. "It's just a phase, let her get on with it. The girl doesn't know what she's saying at her age."

Sophia smacks her husband again. "I swear to god if you open your mouth one more time, Anthony!"

"Can someone pass the gravy?" Jimmy asks. His potatoes are a little dry.

Trying to listen to what her grandmother is saying, Kate smacks him upside the head. "Shut up, I'm trying to listen."

Elizabeth stands from the table and stares Ashley down. "Get out of this house."

"Grandma," Spencer says firmly.

"You make me sick," she says to the brunette. "Thoroughly sick. Get out."

"She isn't going anywhere."

Ashley's eyes widen as she turns to Paula who is now standing.

"This is my house, mother. Now, sit down and eat your dinner. I won't have you attacking this family in such a way."

Thankful it isn't full, Ashley's mouth hangs open in shock. Did Paula Carlin just defend her and her relationship with her daughter?

"Mom," Spencer begins.

"Not now," she replies firmly. "Finish your dinner. All of you," she corrects upon seeing the entire table not eating.

Ignoring her completely, Elizabeth walks away from the table and outside.

Ashley turns to Spencer. "Told you we shoulda gone to Vegas."

* * *

After finishing dinner in silence, Spencer finally stands from the table and grabs Ashley's hand, pulling her upstairs. The door slams shut as the blonde roughly pushes the older girl against it, quickly sealing her mouth over hers.

Shocked by her actions but certainly not complaining, Ashley's hands finding purchase on Spencer's hips as she pulls her body firmly against hers, slanting her head to deepen the kiss.

"You were so great," she murmurs against the blonde's lips before kissing her again.

"So were you," she responds quickly between kisses.

Spencer's fingers flex against the body against hers, a soft moan passing through to her mouth as the brunette's tongue slides sensually against her own and she lightly sucks the tip before trailing her kisses down Ashley's neck.

Ashley feels the vibrations of a hard knock to the door and shoves Spencer away from her so quickly the blonde almost loses balance. With a quick glance to see if she's okay, Ashley wipes her mouth and makes sure her clothes are on straight as she moves away from the door, opening it to reveal Paula.

"Help your father with the dishes," she requests to Spencer quietly.

"Mom, about earlier," she begins.

"He needs help, Spencer."

She nods and moves past Ashley, leaving the room. The brunette looks after her longingly, wanting to go with her. She'd rather scrub a floor with a toothbrush than be left alone with Paula.

Paula observes Ashley carefully and though she isn't comfortable with her daughter's relationship with her, she feels remorse at how uncomfortable she actually looks from being left alone with her. She leans against the doorframe and Ashley shifts her weight onto each foot awkwardly.

"There's not a tiny bit of tension in here, huh?" Ashley asks.

"Sit down, Ashley."

The brunette waits a second before she complies and walks over to the edge of Spencer's bed, sitting down. "Look, Mrs C, I'm really sorry about dinner. Spencer told me how important this was to you and -"

"Why are you sorry?" she asks indifferently.

"Be…cause I know you think it was my fault," she answers slowly.

"Do you think you said anything out of turn or disrespectful?"

Ashley's brow furrows slightly as she considers the question. "No," she answers finally, softly.

Paula shrugs. "Then don't apologise."

Truly uncomfortable, Ashley swallows thickly. "I don't mean to be rude, but an alien didn't take over your body, right?"

"I'm not comfortable with your relationship with Spencer," she states truthfully.

Ashley nods softly, sucking her bottom lip inside her mouth briefly. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Paula mirrors Ashley's nod seconds before. It wasn't a lie that she'd spoken in the same manner about to brunette to her daughter before and though she'd meant every word at the time, Ashley was never present to hear what she had to say and after witnessing somebody saying those things to the girl and had seen how she'd reacted, she had to admit it was wrong.

"But now that you're actually talking to me like I'm a human being," Ashley begins. "What makes you uncomfortable with it? Honestly."

"A woman is meant for a man," she replies simply. "Everything that I've been told and everything I've believed my entire life is that homosexuality is wrong. A sin."

As she replied, the older woman looked at the innocence on the brunette's face. She still had so much to learn from life, so much to experience. And despite the fact she knew Ashley was far from pure, looking at her so intently, she knew that through the false bravado, Ashley was still an insecure little girl underneath.

The past month and a half had been one of the most difficult of her life and she'd been trying hard not to push her daughter away. She'd clearly heard Spencer say that she would move out and truthfully, it was the last thing the older woman wanted. The first fortnight she tried in vain to change her daughter's mind and slowly gave up each time it didn't work.

Ashley thinks carefully over Paula's response and now that she wasn't being rude, she's almost comfortable talking to her. "You know, I think it's like people that are afraid of heights," she begins. "The ones that will never move into an apartment. They buy a house, and they say they do it because they love them, when really they just learned how to because they're too scared to move up there and see the view from the top."

"I'm not saying one evening is going to alter your entire perception of me, Paula. And I'm not expecting you to be okay with Spencer and I with a click of my fingers. I knew a year ago when we first met that you didn't like me. I saw that look on your face as soon as you opened the door and from that moment, honestly, I didn't like you either."

"Looking back, yeah, it was stupid and hypocritical of me. You took one look at me and didn't like me, and seeing that, I did the same. I was young and I think it's expected of me to mess up and make some wrong decisions and choices at my age; but I don't want you to think my sexuality was a choice. I don't want you thinking I'm leading Spencer on because I'm not." She shrugs and holds her shoulders up. "I love her."

Paula didn't need Ashley to tell her that. The fact that she loved her daughter has been obvious to her for weeks and that scared her, too.

"I know," the older woman replies through a sigh, running a hand through her hair. She realises at this moment that she's exhausted and moves to sit next to Ashley on the bed.

Ashley moves away slightly to be able to turn to face her better. "So, I guess that's the one thing we have in common, huh?"

Paula smiles softly. "That, and taste in cars."

"You like my ride?" she asks smugly.

She tries for a wry smile. "Put it this way, I'd give my left arm to own it."

Ashley purses her lips together. "Well, I'm not going to give you my car after one civil talk, but if you ever want to borrow it for the day, let me know."

And that's how Spencer finds them minutes later, talking in a way that could almost be passed as civil without chunks of their hair missing.


End file.
